Well,
here we are again, documenting things in the current situation of my
life. Yes, I've been quiet because I've been working hard to get to as
peaceful of a point in my life as possible. But as many of you know peace
is a fleeting thing, often times scared away by the actions of others even if
it's unintentional.
So to quickly recap or fill in the blanks from where I left off because I am bad with dates and the passing of time, so I use events to help me get somewhat of a time line going... I moved home with Dad in 2013 to care for him until he died in August of 2014, sold the camper for which I was really looking forward to travel to places unknown and put the money into this house. Dad left me his half and mom signed a quit claim deed over to me for the property which wasn't filed because she didn't have time to deal with the probate of dad's will nor could she locate the title to the home at that time.
Mom had moved in with her mother and both were deteriorating in health. Grandma died in February of 2017 and mom decided she wasn't going to go to the funeral. A lot of family members commented on that and other odd things they had started to notice as they had been in and out of the house the few weeks before Grandma passed. I could only state that I understand their concerns and that there was little I could do because of the stubbornness of my mom.
For years I have been asking mom to make some decisions about what she wanted to do when she was unable to care for herself and the resounding silence was the usual response but every now and then she would say she didn't care. But make no mistake about it, mom had a plan of some sorts although she wasn't going to share it with me. Sometimes it felt like she wanted me to come and live with her without all my dogs save for Gus who also died in March of 2019. I even told her that if she wanted my help that she would have to move back home with me because I don't really know too many people in Chester, know that jobs are few and far between there and if I was going to live with her again, I needed a support system to help me keep my sanity. You have no idea what it took for me to make that offer because the last thing I ever wanted to do in my life was to live with her again. I did tell her that because I have a roommate that I love dearly that we would have to expand one of the small rooms in the house so that she could have her own room. She clearly said I was crazy that she wasn't doing any of that and she had access to more benefits in SC.
Since Grandma passed, I would call mom once a week at least and catch her up on the craziness of work and friends and check on her. She had been going to the hospital every so often as she had in the past. Nothing life threatening to my knowledge but still an old established pattern that worked for her. The usual was sinus trouble, COPD and she said it was stress most of the time. A few times she had friends running errands for her or taking her to the doctor or the ER for whatever reasons. And I know this sounds callous but mom has gone to the ER so often over the years that ended up being what I termed as her mini vacations (because the doctors rarely if ever found anything wrong), that when she would have the friends call me to tell me she was in the hospital again, they wouldn't get the response they were looking for. I guess they thought I should stop what I'm doing and rush right there. It didn't happen because if it was really serious then I'd be notified.
One such incident was around the beginning of the year (I think) where mom had minor surgery on her sinus and ended up in the ER. At first she said she had fainted at some time after the procedure and that's when I got my first call from the family friend. Over time the story evolved to the point where she said she almost died and that's why they took her to the ER. She now regrets having the procedure done and has had a lot of issues since then.
At some point mom hired house cleaners to come in and then added to the duties of running errands and doing other things for her. The first was Amanda who came while Grandma was still alive and mom complained about her a lot especially toward the end. I went down there one day, which turned out to be one of the last days Amanda was there and when she answered the door, she said that she needed to talk to me. Amanda said that she was worried about mom because she had changed in the time that she had known her. I asked how so? She said that mom has become more demanding and irritable. I told her that she has finally met the real Barbara. She's been that way pretty much my whole life, even if she is subtle about it at times.
There was another 2 person team that came after Amanda and I am unclear of their names if they are not one of two that mom talked about most. One is a Linda that had ties to an old close friend of mom's from Charlotte and the others name was Mara who is Linda's daughter or niece. Then there was a Kristy or Krista and I'm not sure where she came from or who was there first. But over time this Kristy took advantage of mom (which is kinda shocking in a way because of moms nature and not so much because of her vulnerability with her age). This Kristy had bought a $1000 phone instead of a cheaper version because mom was trying to help her but she also wanted to be able to reach Kristy whenever she wanted to. Mom said that it was a small charge on her debit card that revealed that Kristy was buying things for herself as well. The police were involved and mom intended to pursue the matter in court.
Here is messages that I copied and pasted from mom’s FB account from this Kristy or Krista:
So to quickly recap or fill in the blanks from where I left off because I am bad with dates and the passing of time, so I use events to help me get somewhat of a time line going... I moved home with Dad in 2013 to care for him until he died in August of 2014, sold the camper for which I was really looking forward to travel to places unknown and put the money into this house. Dad left me his half and mom signed a quit claim deed over to me for the property which wasn't filed because she didn't have time to deal with the probate of dad's will nor could she locate the title to the home at that time.
Mom had moved in with her mother and both were deteriorating in health. Grandma died in February of 2017 and mom decided she wasn't going to go to the funeral. A lot of family members commented on that and other odd things they had started to notice as they had been in and out of the house the few weeks before Grandma passed. I could only state that I understand their concerns and that there was little I could do because of the stubbornness of my mom.
For years I have been asking mom to make some decisions about what she wanted to do when she was unable to care for herself and the resounding silence was the usual response but every now and then she would say she didn't care. But make no mistake about it, mom had a plan of some sorts although she wasn't going to share it with me. Sometimes it felt like she wanted me to come and live with her without all my dogs save for Gus who also died in March of 2019. I even told her that if she wanted my help that she would have to move back home with me because I don't really know too many people in Chester, know that jobs are few and far between there and if I was going to live with her again, I needed a support system to help me keep my sanity. You have no idea what it took for me to make that offer because the last thing I ever wanted to do in my life was to live with her again. I did tell her that because I have a roommate that I love dearly that we would have to expand one of the small rooms in the house so that she could have her own room. She clearly said I was crazy that she wasn't doing any of that and she had access to more benefits in SC.
Since Grandma passed, I would call mom once a week at least and catch her up on the craziness of work and friends and check on her. She had been going to the hospital every so often as she had in the past. Nothing life threatening to my knowledge but still an old established pattern that worked for her. The usual was sinus trouble, COPD and she said it was stress most of the time. A few times she had friends running errands for her or taking her to the doctor or the ER for whatever reasons. And I know this sounds callous but mom has gone to the ER so often over the years that ended up being what I termed as her mini vacations (because the doctors rarely if ever found anything wrong), that when she would have the friends call me to tell me she was in the hospital again, they wouldn't get the response they were looking for. I guess they thought I should stop what I'm doing and rush right there. It didn't happen because if it was really serious then I'd be notified.
One such incident was around the beginning of the year (I think) where mom had minor surgery on her sinus and ended up in the ER. At first she said she had fainted at some time after the procedure and that's when I got my first call from the family friend. Over time the story evolved to the point where she said she almost died and that's why they took her to the ER. She now regrets having the procedure done and has had a lot of issues since then.
At some point mom hired house cleaners to come in and then added to the duties of running errands and doing other things for her. The first was Amanda who came while Grandma was still alive and mom complained about her a lot especially toward the end. I went down there one day, which turned out to be one of the last days Amanda was there and when she answered the door, she said that she needed to talk to me. Amanda said that she was worried about mom because she had changed in the time that she had known her. I asked how so? She said that mom has become more demanding and irritable. I told her that she has finally met the real Barbara. She's been that way pretty much my whole life, even if she is subtle about it at times.
There was another 2 person team that came after Amanda and I am unclear of their names if they are not one of two that mom talked about most. One is a Linda that had ties to an old close friend of mom's from Charlotte and the others name was Mara who is Linda's daughter or niece. Then there was a Kristy or Krista and I'm not sure where she came from or who was there first. But over time this Kristy took advantage of mom (which is kinda shocking in a way because of moms nature and not so much because of her vulnerability with her age). This Kristy had bought a $1000 phone instead of a cheaper version because mom was trying to help her but she also wanted to be able to reach Kristy whenever she wanted to. Mom said that it was a small charge on her debit card that revealed that Kristy was buying things for herself as well. The police were involved and mom intended to pursue the matter in court.
Here is messages that I copied and pasted from mom’s FB account from this Kristy or Krista:
“Mom: "Do
you remember that you had said that you were going to return the phone and my
key today?
Kristy:
You don’t remember our conversation yesterday if that’s what you’re thinking. I
told you the Verizon bill & your key have been mailed to you. I was going
to have the phone switched over but you have to verify in order to transfer
from your account. I know it’s confusing for you but I explained this all
different ways I could, until you understood. Now I’m still stuck with no phone
& although you “take the blame” you’re still unwilling to help simplify the
process. This is the best option for you even more so than it would be for me.
Also, I told you I’d come over, explain your bill to you (mail from me with
your key) & also fill your humidifier, take trash & whatever else you
may be needing by now.
I cared so much for you & I alway made sure
you were safe, fed, happy & didn’t [need] for nothing! I agreed to take care
of Peaches & I meant it! You know I’ve never done you wrong & that this
phone crap was the only issue/misunderstanding... You need to stop being so
angry & lower your stress. You want someone else out there, fine! I hope
you will get the loyalty, honesty, etc. that you got from me! I’ll return the
phone to Verizon, now that I finally know what’s happening with it. I hope
you’ll be happy for the rest of your days. Goodbye"
And here is another one that was sent to mom through Mara Vashtog from Kristy or Krista:
Friday "I have no way to call I’m sorry. I’m going in to Verizon in 1 hour. They may need to call you to verify the removal of my phone line from your account. I’m hoping to keep my same number. My week has been extremely difficult without a phone & I’ve probably missed important calls.. You should get your key Saturday or Monday. Do you need any help out there or are you fine without me coming?"
Right around that time Linda contacted me through text message with mom’s phone and gave me her telephone number. She had questions about a ceiling fan globe that she was looking for to replace the one in mom’s front bedroom. That is the only time I've had any contact with her. Shortly after that mom stated that she was going to have to find someone else to help her out because Linda had too much going on to continue to do so. I believe she did find someone else but again cannot remember their names.
Right before this exchange around late October or early November mom did something she has never done before. She sent me a check for $5000 to complete some repairs on the house. She also bought us both a new computer because mine died and hers was old too. To say I was shocked speechless would have been an understatement. This was the first of things that would be abnormal for mom to do however much it was appreciated. It took a while to get the computer set up and even longer for me to get it to her because of the holidays and my schedule at work. I kept all her password the same and made it as easy as I could for her to use it. I also kept the passwords stored on my own computer so if she ever got locked out again, I could help her get back in. That is how I was able to see the messages to and from these people.
I remember joking with mom one day when she was complaining about the people who help her out and told her she better slow down or she will run out of helpers if she doesn't. She didn't believe it for a minute but the reality is I was much closer to the truth than either of us knew. I know moms’ state of mind was deteriorating but she seemed to be doing okay most of the time. It was her health that she was having a lot of issues with and couldn't find relief anywhere with any doctor. The best I can tell, late May or early June, when I called her she would state that she had visitor’s, or another call coming in and she would call me back later. No big deal. But it continues to this day and the longer it went on the more worried I became.
In 2 months I've talked to her about 15 minutes total and only because I insisted that she call back the other person later once. Mom even called me once and told me she would call me back as soon as I answered the phone. It was weird, and at first I thought maybe she tapped my number on her phone by mistake but now I just don't know. She has just about stopped calling altogether and this is the same woman who would call my cell 2 or 3 times and if she couldn't get me, start calling my roommate and demand that I call her back immediately.
Looking back at my Amazon account I see I had ordered her some herbal sleep supplements that were delivered by July 9th, which means I ordered them on July the 2nd. One of the early June phone calls with mom revealed that she hadn't been sleeping well again and she asked me to order and send the herbal supplement Sleep Thru to her. I told her I would when I make my next order but it would be a while. She also asked me if I would take care of her cat if something happened to her and after agreeing she had to go again. That was about the extent of the conversation. After I knew the supplements had been delivered, I wanted to verify that she received them but could not do so at any time thereafter.
I knew something was up when she answered the phone approximately July 23rd and sounded better than she had in a while. Her voice was clear and she was alert but stated only that hospice was coming in and she had to go but she wasn't dying. Click. I waited and called her again and told her I was coming out on my day off to see her for myself. She said okay and she had to go again. Click. Monday came and she called and said it wasn't a good time for me to come and she would talk to me later. Click. That was then end of that conversation and now I knew I had to go see her without letting her know I was coming because she would cancel at the last minute. So I had made plans to go on Tuesday July 30th but my roommate went to the ER on Sunday the 28th and was in the hospital for almost a week. I had to take care of the dogs so changed my plans to go down the Chester on Tuesday August 6th. During this week I tried to call mom several times at different times with no luck. I ended up leaving her a voice mail telling her I had figured out an issue with the computers as to why they were running so slow, so asked her to boot hers up and call me back. No response.
Shortly after my roommate got out of the hospital, I got a friends request on FB that I didn't recognize and let it sit there for a few days before I put it together that it was moms, neighbors wife. Mom had talked about the neighbor a lot and was having issues with him (big surprise) but rarely talked about his wife. I remember her complaining about the neighbors tearing up the back yard with a vehicle, the garage being messy, him not cutting her grass and a few other things. Mom seemed to be getting more and more aggravated with this neighbor and a feud looked like it was brewing. So when I accepted the request, I sent them a message asking her what was going on over at moms and their response was to call them, so I did.
During this conversation, I found out that Linda was back taking care of mom and things were escalating between her and the neighbors. The neighbors told me that she had a security system installed at mom’s house with cameras that may also be inside as well to monitor the movements of mom and anyone who came in or near the home. Linda was driving mom’s car some and collecting her mail but may not be giving it to her. Linda now visits less and less now that the cameras are installed but enough to keep the discord between her and the neighbors going. Mom hasn't been seen out of the house in over a month and other than the hospice workers, no other friends have stopped by. This is classic alienation of a victim when they are being set up to have their accounts drained and everything else taken from them. This also puts my phone calls (or lack of response) into a better perspective.
After the late phone call with the neighbors on Friday, August 3rd, I sent a message through FB to my cousin about the situation and copy and pasted the message to mom’s brother and went to bed, slept poorly and got up early. I again copied and pasted the message to several other family members and mom’s close friends to make them aware of the situation. I also asked one of them if they knew of someone I could speak to in the police dept in Chester because I had decided to stop by there first and introduce myself as well as give them a heads up as to the nature of my visit. I also let the family and friends know that was my intention and to please keep everything quiet until I found out more information.
Mom’s brother was also a topic of conversation with my cousin, in the fact that he will not respond or take any action to help this situation. At least if the request is coming from me. I have also paid for a background check on Linda and found little to help determine if she has done this kind of thing before.
Mom: You
have not paid one dime towards this phone, that belongs to me. You have not
tried to pay at all. If Verizon would give you a contract then they would call
me, in which they have not. It has been 4 days since I have asked for phone and
key to be returned. You said you were transferring information already. Get
information from your old device. Unless you are returning my phone and key Do
Not Come To My House. You are not welcome here.
Kristy: I
had paid towards the phone! You owed me $300 for working & I had already
bought over $100 of groceries towards the phone & I took care of the phone
mess on Friday while you had your hair done! It’s all going to show you on the
next bill. You’ve been extremely hostile (out of nowhere) since Monday. I don’t
understand what could’ve possibly happened between Friday & Sunday but you
had already seen the bill long by then & I had messaged you details about
the credits they’re returning.. I thought if I wrote it in a text you could
better understand what I was saying.
Kristy: I’ve
been the only one screwed over here. I’m still trying to help you on your phone
bill & for any personal needs. But you’re making it really hard to want to
help you when you’re treating me like dirt. For no reason! I’ve done nothing
but care for you. Nothing more & not an ounce of malicious intent at any
point of our time together!
Kristy: My
bartending job wasn’t able to reach me this week so they gave my shift away. I
owe my car insurance & I now have to pay to start up another phone. When I
already had a phone, until you insisted on replacing mine for a better way of
reaching me.
I’m truly
just trying to do what’s best & what’s right by you as well. I’m so crushed
that you’ve decided to hate me so much over a misunderstanding about a
telephone.
10/28/18,
2:23 PM
Kristy: I
would’ve had the phone off your account long ago, but I need you to let them
call you to verify.. they can tell you right then & there, same thing I’ve
been saying. That the phone will no longer be your responsibility & will
NOT have your name anywhere on it. I have to have my friend with my at the
store though. I’ve been waiting to meet him there since you keep going back
& forth about me bringing the phone back to you. This way will cost us both
less money & you save much more by relieving the owner ship of the device
& payments for it... please to understand that & agree to let Verizon
tell you that as they call to switch it over!? Please!
Mom: I have
paid you every thing that I possibly owed you as of last Tuesday. You have
repeatedly charged me for hours that you did not work. I paid for all of my
groceries with my debit card that you used. I have receipts for all groceries
that I received. You have never paid a dime towards the phone. You knew that
you were NOT supposed to get an expensive phone. You betrayed my trust and have
harassed me ever since. You had said that you would return the phone by last
Wednesday and did not. Therefore, it is reported as stolen and must be returned
to Verizon. I received a bill from verizon for the first months rent as well as
the activation fee for the phone that you chose it amounted to $280.00. You
have not paid that amount. You demanded $200.00 from me last Tuesday with NO
consideration of what expenses that you have burdened me with.
Kristy: That
is not true at all! If you look closely at those receipts you’ll see that your
card was not used, therefore I had paid towards the phone, even though you’ve
clearly forgotten that agreement we had. You’ve done that all along &
refused to write things down, even after me bringing that to your attention.
You are the one who told me you owed me $200 for hours worked, before having me
work $100 more worth of hours (also your words!) & I had paid over $100
within the groceries...
Also, I told
you I would pay every penny of the device payments & costs, to which you
agreed to! All of that cake to be AFTER you insisted on buying me a new phone
when I already had one, but you couldn’t reach me 24/7...
I would’ve
put everything you owed me, towards the bill! You’re going to be getting over
$100 back in credits towards your next bill also. That is what I had done at
Verizon Friday! Also, $40 of that was billed for a case I had bought to protect
the phone & would’ve absolutely paid that with my next pay. I told you that
Friday as I left to get Carson when you insisted on waiting to pay me for the
days worked that week. You said you’d pay me Monday & I planned to pay you
more towards the bill with that! And further explain to you about the bill
being fixed Friday... You’ve misunderstood all of this & been super hateful
to me numerous times in your confusion! You need someone with
caretaker-training to work with/for you. I just don’t understand how you change
to someone completely different, over night! I hate it for you & me both.
10/30/18, 2:59 PM
Kristy: I’m
sure someone (Mara/Linda perhaps) has gotten into your head & made me out
to be a monster.. but you should know better!!!
And here is another one that was sent to mom through Mara Vashtog from Kristy or Krista:
"Messages
from Krista Tuesday "It will cost over $250 just
to cancel the line. Why couldn't I just have paid the bill & kept the line?
Or at least had the option to carry my number over to a new prepaid plan? I
told you it would be more on the 1st bill but after that it's only $50 extra
per month. That I would gladly" pay! Hell I would've worked just for the
phone. This is terrible. I can't trust anything you say anymore so find other
arrangements for peaches & after I drop these things off tomorrow I will
not be back."
Thursday
"Your key is in the mail. I will be switching the phone to another account
1st thing tomorrow morning. My friend (the new account holder for my phone)
said that you’re welcome to call him to confirm. I will come out there to do
anything you need until you’re able to find someone "new. I’m sorry this
didn’t work out but I will not leave you without help until you’ve replaced me.
I’ll just come when you’re up to it & you can let me in since I’ve sent my
key back. I’ll call you from a phone this evening as soon as my roommate gets
home to let me use his cell. I hope you’re well today.
Friday "I have no way to call I’m sorry. I’m going in to Verizon in 1 hour. They may need to call you to verify the removal of my phone line from your account. I’m hoping to keep my same number. My week has been extremely difficult without a phone & I’ve probably missed important calls.. You should get your key Saturday or Monday. Do you need any help out there or are you fine without me coming?"
Mara: The
girl is insane
11/13/18,
6:50 PM
Mara: Called
u but u did not call back. Just called 2 say hey & hope u are ding
well!LU"
Right around that time Linda contacted me through text message with mom’s phone and gave me her telephone number. She had questions about a ceiling fan globe that she was looking for to replace the one in mom’s front bedroom. That is the only time I've had any contact with her. Shortly after that mom stated that she was going to have to find someone else to help her out because Linda had too much going on to continue to do so. I believe she did find someone else but again cannot remember their names.
Right before this exchange around late October or early November mom did something she has never done before. She sent me a check for $5000 to complete some repairs on the house. She also bought us both a new computer because mine died and hers was old too. To say I was shocked speechless would have been an understatement. This was the first of things that would be abnormal for mom to do however much it was appreciated. It took a while to get the computer set up and even longer for me to get it to her because of the holidays and my schedule at work. I kept all her password the same and made it as easy as I could for her to use it. I also kept the passwords stored on my own computer so if she ever got locked out again, I could help her get back in. That is how I was able to see the messages to and from these people.
I remember joking with mom one day when she was complaining about the people who help her out and told her she better slow down or she will run out of helpers if she doesn't. She didn't believe it for a minute but the reality is I was much closer to the truth than either of us knew. I know moms’ state of mind was deteriorating but she seemed to be doing okay most of the time. It was her health that she was having a lot of issues with and couldn't find relief anywhere with any doctor. The best I can tell, late May or early June, when I called her she would state that she had visitor’s, or another call coming in and she would call me back later. No big deal. But it continues to this day and the longer it went on the more worried I became.
In 2 months I've talked to her about 15 minutes total and only because I insisted that she call back the other person later once. Mom even called me once and told me she would call me back as soon as I answered the phone. It was weird, and at first I thought maybe she tapped my number on her phone by mistake but now I just don't know. She has just about stopped calling altogether and this is the same woman who would call my cell 2 or 3 times and if she couldn't get me, start calling my roommate and demand that I call her back immediately.
Looking back at my Amazon account I see I had ordered her some herbal sleep supplements that were delivered by July 9th, which means I ordered them on July the 2nd. One of the early June phone calls with mom revealed that she hadn't been sleeping well again and she asked me to order and send the herbal supplement Sleep Thru to her. I told her I would when I make my next order but it would be a while. She also asked me if I would take care of her cat if something happened to her and after agreeing she had to go again. That was about the extent of the conversation. After I knew the supplements had been delivered, I wanted to verify that she received them but could not do so at any time thereafter.
I knew something was up when she answered the phone approximately July 23rd and sounded better than she had in a while. Her voice was clear and she was alert but stated only that hospice was coming in and she had to go but she wasn't dying. Click. I waited and called her again and told her I was coming out on my day off to see her for myself. She said okay and she had to go again. Click. Monday came and she called and said it wasn't a good time for me to come and she would talk to me later. Click. That was then end of that conversation and now I knew I had to go see her without letting her know I was coming because she would cancel at the last minute. So I had made plans to go on Tuesday July 30th but my roommate went to the ER on Sunday the 28th and was in the hospital for almost a week. I had to take care of the dogs so changed my plans to go down the Chester on Tuesday August 6th. During this week I tried to call mom several times at different times with no luck. I ended up leaving her a voice mail telling her I had figured out an issue with the computers as to why they were running so slow, so asked her to boot hers up and call me back. No response.
Shortly after my roommate got out of the hospital, I got a friends request on FB that I didn't recognize and let it sit there for a few days before I put it together that it was moms, neighbors wife. Mom had talked about the neighbor a lot and was having issues with him (big surprise) but rarely talked about his wife. I remember her complaining about the neighbors tearing up the back yard with a vehicle, the garage being messy, him not cutting her grass and a few other things. Mom seemed to be getting more and more aggravated with this neighbor and a feud looked like it was brewing. So when I accepted the request, I sent them a message asking her what was going on over at moms and their response was to call them, so I did.
During this conversation, I found out that Linda was back taking care of mom and things were escalating between her and the neighbors. The neighbors told me that she had a security system installed at mom’s house with cameras that may also be inside as well to monitor the movements of mom and anyone who came in or near the home. Linda was driving mom’s car some and collecting her mail but may not be giving it to her. Linda now visits less and less now that the cameras are installed but enough to keep the discord between her and the neighbors going. Mom hasn't been seen out of the house in over a month and other than the hospice workers, no other friends have stopped by. This is classic alienation of a victim when they are being set up to have their accounts drained and everything else taken from them. This also puts my phone calls (or lack of response) into a better perspective.
After the late phone call with the neighbors on Friday, August 3rd, I sent a message through FB to my cousin about the situation and copy and pasted the message to mom’s brother and went to bed, slept poorly and got up early. I again copied and pasted the message to several other family members and mom’s close friends to make them aware of the situation. I also asked one of them if they knew of someone I could speak to in the police dept in Chester because I had decided to stop by there first and introduce myself as well as give them a heads up as to the nature of my visit. I also let the family and friends know that was my intention and to please keep everything quiet until I found out more information.
Mom’s brother was also a topic of conversation with my cousin, in the fact that he will not respond or take any action to help this situation. At least if the request is coming from me. I have also paid for a background check on Linda and found little to help determine if she has done this kind of thing before.
Over
the next few days, I thought a lot about the possibilities with mom and Linda
and tried to make a plan to try and see mom without Linda's knowledge by
leaving as early as I can to have time to stop by the police dept. and get to
moms before Linda's usual arrival between 10 am and 12 pm. Best case
scenario is to get there, knock on mom’s window and not the doorbell because
Linda may have alerts sent to her phone anytime it rings. Mom looks out,
recognizes me and is willing and able to get up and let me in to see her.
I would like to see what's going on and talk to her face to face. I will
go in as if I don't know about Linda's presence or activities and check out her
state of mind if possible. I will have a letter written out in case the
house is wired for audio so mom can read it using a pretext so that if she is
in trouble she will know that I will help her if she wants and needs me
to. When I have gathered as much information as I can I will then ring
the door bell and wait for Linda to arrive.
Worst case scenario is that Linda is confrontational and actions will be taken that require the police to get involved. I will contact an agency for elder care and possible abuse if and when needed as well if DSS if that is an option but I will not wait for the piles of red tape to be cut through if mom is in trouble. This is the date of August 4th and I will update progress after my visit and it very well may be time to get mom to make a few decisions about what she is going to do and if she needs constant care,to start looking for her a place to have that. The moment I have dreaded for most of my life is on the way if not already here.
8/5 From neighbor when asked to detail some of the issues with Linda: "Im really hoping that Linda just dislike us but is still good to Barbara! She was really nice at first, would talk to the kids, ask them how school went, etc. so I don’t know, it was just such a suddenly dislike after we called to check but I’m still hoping we are some how wrong about her. Sorry to hear about your bulldog. That’s Danny’s favorite type of dog. Some how we always end up with a different kind tho. I wanted to let you know also that Linda came today but somewhere around 2 she moved her car under the carport and took your moms car and hasn’t been back. If she isn’t back by this late it probably means she’s keeping your moms tonight. So if you see the white Volvo but your moms car is gone then Linda is still gone in it. If I notice her drop it back off I will try to let you know. "
After being there and talking with Linda directly by phone and texting, I found she was doing the best she could with what she had to work with. She has some issues with mom and not only is it understandable but I'd have been surprised if she didn't. She has tried very hard to get through to my mom and that is no easy feat even on a good day. So after hearing both sides between the neighbors and mom, I understand the issues better than before. I am sorry I had to find out this way and hope that Linda understands that I had to check things out because I was going in blind. Mom and Linda believe that the neighbor was looking to inherit my grandmothers house and possibly buy some land that is available. I have no idea why they would believe that it was even possible but when there is money involved things are bound to get messy not matter who is involved.
Worst case scenario is that Linda is confrontational and actions will be taken that require the police to get involved. I will contact an agency for elder care and possible abuse if and when needed as well if DSS if that is an option but I will not wait for the piles of red tape to be cut through if mom is in trouble. This is the date of August 4th and I will update progress after my visit and it very well may be time to get mom to make a few decisions about what she is going to do and if she needs constant care,to start looking for her a place to have that. The moment I have dreaded for most of my life is on the way if not already here.
8/5 From neighbor when asked to detail some of the issues with Linda: "Im really hoping that Linda just dislike us but is still good to Barbara! She was really nice at first, would talk to the kids, ask them how school went, etc. so I don’t know, it was just such a suddenly dislike after we called to check but I’m still hoping we are some how wrong about her. Sorry to hear about your bulldog. That’s Danny’s favorite type of dog. Some how we always end up with a different kind tho. I wanted to let you know also that Linda came today but somewhere around 2 she moved her car under the carport and took your moms car and hasn’t been back. If she isn’t back by this late it probably means she’s keeping your moms tonight. So if you see the white Volvo but your moms car is gone then Linda is still gone in it. If I notice her drop it back off I will try to let you know. "
After being there and talking with Linda directly by phone and texting, I found she was doing the best she could with what she had to work with. She has some issues with mom and not only is it understandable but I'd have been surprised if she didn't. She has tried very hard to get through to my mom and that is no easy feat even on a good day. So after hearing both sides between the neighbors and mom, I understand the issues better than before. I am sorry I had to find out this way and hope that Linda understands that I had to check things out because I was going in blind. Mom and Linda believe that the neighbor was looking to inherit my grandmothers house and possibly buy some land that is available. I have no idea why they would believe that it was even possible but when there is money involved things are bound to get messy not matter who is involved.
No comments:
Post a Comment