Thursday, March 20, 2014

The End of the Story

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3. Technology, Me and Programs, 4. When will we ever learn?, 5. Sex, drugs and smoking,
6. Suppression Equals Depression, 7. Practicing Awareness, 8. Long Distance Friendships During War, 9.  Away we go, 10. Children and Pit Bulls at Christmas, 11. The other side of the story...I & II, 12. The things that divide us, 13. Getting a plan together and a Garden, 14. The End of the Story Click the links within the post to see the relevant stories, pictures or videos and thanks for stopping by!

Hello again and I’ve missed writing my thoughts down as well as the few people who have taken the time to read this journey I’ve traveled.  There has been many changes over the last 7 or 8 months that will be chronicled but first I want to close out this chapter of my life that taught me a great lesson not only about this person who is the center of this series but about myself and what I need to work on.

This is a continuation of the Other Side of the Story and begins a few weekends before Mother’s Day where the drama escalated to the point of a day time soap opera.  This post does not contain cuss words but they were used liberally throughout the conversations as well as attitude in spades on both of our parts.  While I was completely fed up with King Richard’s constant lying, greed, shallowness and smugness, he didn’t seem too affected by all this but you may have seen or heard different, if you know him personally.  This post was also written while it was happening and didn’t have the quality of hindsight as the previous posts until I had a moment of peace to absorb all the changes that have taken place.  Then I was able to edit it with added insights gained through much reflection.

So we pick up where we left off when on a Sunday evening the washing machine went out after stopping a few times before over the last few months.  After contacting King Richard about it, he stated it would probably be Friday before he got the time to replace it.  I had a lot to do over the next week and was due to go out of town on May 4th for the day.  So I went to HH Gregg on the following Monday or Tuesday and purchased a washer which was not the cheapest model but the next cheapest one with a better agitator.  Once I came home I asked the neighbor across the street, we’ll call him Ray, to help me get it into the house and hook it up.  Ray then asked me for money again as he usually does but he seemed different like he didn’t want to talk to me.  I got aggravated and told him never mind as I turned and walked away, while shaking my head.  I knew then that King Richard had been talking to him about me and could guess how the conversations went.  I then started to do something else and Ray came across the street and said that he would help me like “good” neighbors do and I didn’t have to give him any more money.  I refused several times but he persisted so he helped load the washer in the house and hooked it up… all the while commenting on how both King Richard and I were so rich several times during the process, because I was buying several big ticket items lately.  Trying to explain to him once again why I was spending the last of my money that was recently repaid did not have any effect on his views.   

King Richard came home later that evening and found that I had replaced the washer without his approval, was angry and stated that it was like I didn’t value his opinion.  I told him that was true, I didn’t any more.  I also told him that he didn’t value me as a person, anything I do and much less anything I say.  He then said that I had to give respect before he returned it, but I told him that I was through giving and was give out.  This has mostly been a one way relationship with me doing most of the giving and him doing most of the taking.  King Richard then stated that he would only pay for half of the washer and I told him no.  He could either pay for all of it and keep it or pay none of it and I would take the washer when I left and sell it, the choice was his.  There would be no more middle ground with him so he wrote me a check to reimburse me for the washer.  The next day Ray told King Richard I had gotten mad at him because he didn’t want to help with the washer and also told him it would be 2 years before I left.  Ray was wrong, had been drinking and or King Richard was playing him.  I do not know and didn’t find this out until a later conversation between King Richard and I took place.     

Previously, I had told King Richard that I would be using half of my pay check to put into savings to save up for the pickup I needed to pull the RV and he would need to buy his own junk food from that time forward.  I would still pay for all the dog food, treats, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, my food and cigarettes with the remaining portion.  I also started paying for all of my own gas out of my small check.  I didn’t tell him that I would have to give up going to the chiropractor and several other things to make the goal.  I was also looking for another part time job to help expedite the process.  He again stated that it was all supposed to be his money because he was only paying me to save taxes.  Again I stated that I only agreed to that for a while and his time was long since up.  After a heated discussion on my part about his need to control every dime and everything, including denying me the chance to achieve my own dreams after helping his come to fruition, he stated do whatever you want to do.  I told him I plan to.  A few days later King Richard finally paid the tax on my vehicle, which was in his name, several months late and was reimbursed for the $100 in cash.  Unfortunately, I have no receipt for this.

The following week I ignored King Richard and any comments he made whether they were benign or not, to the best of my ability.  Again, I could tell he was planning something but wasn’t sure what it was.  Since I knew King Richard had been telling more lies and half truths about me, his actions and this situation to anyone that would listen, I begin to tell Ray, only what I wanted King Richard to know when it became clear that both of them were playing both ends against the middle.  Everything I stated to Ray was true at that time, but things did change as you’ll read later on.  I found out that King Richard had bought Ray’s friendship because Ray stated that King Richard was his banker now.  When Ray stated he wanted us to work things out and that King Richard was just mad but would calm down later, I explained to him, King Richard was a severely narcissistic person who cares little for anything but himself and thinks it is his right to control everything concerning others while causing as much drama as possible and there was very little chance of him overcoming it without long term therapy by someone who specializes in that sort of disorder.  I also told Ray that I wanted to take Lily the bulldog which is my dog Gus’s friend, and her sole care was my responsibility.  I didn’t tell Ray, King Richard paid $800 for Lily and I planned on leaving him $1000 to reimburse him for her when I left.  That was the plan at that time but was later since changed.  I love Lily as much as I love Gus and know that King Richard only considers her a piece of property as he does most others in his life.  Depending on the conversations, King Richard states that he bought her for me while I was in grief over Trey and the next he states that she is his dog and I can’t take her.  He goes back and forth as I have done about taking Lily but he is doing it for spite, not out of love.  Please remember what I wrote in the Other side of the Story about his wanting to breed and sell puppies, even though neither dog has papers.  When reminded about that, King Richard now denies that it was intention but again, it is more fabrications.   

Later on, I also went by Spunky’s, our one time mutual friend in the Other Side of the Story, to drop off the rest of the computer equipment, supplements and other things that I knew she could use so I could have the room to start packing other things at King Richard’s home.  I didn’t expect her to be home, much less be on her way out when I dropped off the boxes.  I caught her up on the recent events between King Richard and myself, particularly the games he is still playing and my attempts to avoid them and continue to pursue my own plans despite his attempts to derail them at every turn.  Such as when he decided to finally redo his bathroom at this time when we both had a lot of things going on.  I had asked the same man King Richard wanted to use, if he would help me out at my father’s house first because it could be done faster and it would allow me to start moving a lot of things I wanted to save much sooner.  I also apologized to Spunky for my part in our parting of the ways and told her the same things I told Ray.  She told me of her problems with her benefits and thought I was the one who had caused her the problems, which I did not.  She stated when she asked King Richard about it, he told her I was not vindictive and wouldn’t do that.  At least that much was the truth, although I did still struggle with the urge to give back what is given when it comes to King Richard.  I was thinking in my head if I had done something to mess with her benefits, would I be there talking to her and giving her even more things?  I told her I didn’t even know about the problems, but later realized that I vaguely remembered King Richard saying something along those lines, but because I had learned to tune out his endless talking, unless it had something to do with me or the dogs directly, I didn’t remember the conversation right off.  

For example when we were still hanging out, Spunky told me of a conversation which happened while we were all at the house and I was cooking dinner several months earlier for the 3 of us.  The next day, Spunky asked me about King Richard’s comment which was “we were like a married couple” because I didn’t respond to it.  It was because I didn’t hear him and was concentrating on what I was doing.  Another reason I learned to tune King Richard out is because he means so very little of what he says to people and the story changes so often, that it’s not worth investing a lot of energy on paying attention.  Before I left the day I stopped by to drop off the stuff, Spunky asked me if we (her and I) were alright and I said yes, but I would not be in contact until after I leave the house.  I asked her not to tell King Richard about our talking until I was out of the house and she agreed… but later found out that she had repeated everything I said… as I guessed she would, almost immediately.  I’m not saying that I’m the best kind of friend out there because I know I have a lot to work on, but at least I keep my word because it means something to me nor do I feel the need to use people to get things done.  Those two things alone, allow me the chance to appreciate people for what they are and not have to make choices to be friends with people I need something from, especially if I don’t care for them.  Unfortunately she may never figure that out on her own.  I think what is the saddest part in this whole ordeal is that she couldn’t realize how important she was to me and how unimportant she was to King Richard.  

The previous month, when I had gone to my fathers to make peace with him before I left this city for good and I saw the condition he was living in.  I realized I could not leave my father in that condition no matter what has happened between us.  I had decided to use the last of my savings earmarked for new dentures to help him complete one of his bathrooms that were a wreck, due to the con man stealing his identity after moving in with him.  The con man drained my father’s accounts, wrote bad checks and ruined his credit.  There was unfinished work all over the house with much of the electrical and plumbing unusable and there was little left behind when the con man left for good.  My father has alcoholic induced dementia and because he had broken his hip roughly a year ago and needed a lot of help to navigate the condition of the house, I had been spending my days there to clean it out and up for him.  I contacted the man mentioned above who I thought could be trusted to complete the work and begin the process of putting my father’s home back together.  Now I understand why King Richard was so pleased when I went to see my father because he knew he could force me out of the house sooner rather than wait until I finished my to do list which would have been completed by May of 2014.  When I mentioned it might add 2 months to the time frame before I could leave, he did not say one word about it. 

The only thing King Richard had to say at this time was when I mentioned one of the helpers of the man helping me at dads was homeless and he stated for the 2nd time, I should get the homeless man or any other homeless person to go with me in the RV because he at least would be able to help if anything went wrong.  King Richard said he was just concerned for my safety.  I told him that when I leave, I am leaving alone but also told him my safety couldn’t be that much of a concern to him if he was willing to suggest I take a homeless stranger with me on the road.  That was just King Richard pretending to be helpful while in all actuality it was his way of saying that I could only have that type of individuals in my life.   

Before I had completed the purchase of the RV after Kind Richard had repaid the loan and while I was working at dads, I knew I was about to use the money from my savings account on many separate purchases but didn’t want to pay fees for more than 2 withdrawals per month, so I called the bank and had all my money transferred to my checking account then closed the savings account.  King Richard did not seem happy that I did that and couldn’t believe that I could do it without his approval since his name was on the account for security reasons.  It was not done out of spite but it was done to make my life easier by using my debit card and to save a few dollars on fees.  I was doing everything I had stated I would do and even rushing the process.  In fact, I was unsure as to whether I was making a mistake buying the RV, because I wanted to get out of there so bad, I trusted a total stranger with most of my life savings on his word… which is something I would never do under normal circumstances.  I even mentioned this to King Richard but he stated it would be alright.  I am very thankful the man was true to his word and he proved to me there are still honorable people in this world.  

The weekend before Mother’s Day and before King Richard took a long trip out of town to pick up a car in another state, he stated he was excited that the RV was about to be delivered but returned to tell me that because I was not feeding him any longer that I could not park my RV on his property.  This was a few days before it was to be delivered.  I told him that I was going to do just that because it made moving stuff into it easier and I still needed to learn how to operate it.  He stated that he would have it towed if I did and I stated to him, then the war would be on in earnest.  I also told him I knew he was planning on double crossing me somehow and I had made a 5 stage plan to deal with this.  He stated he didn’t care about anything I would do and he was done with me and I had 4 to 6 months to get out of his house.  At first I told him I’ll leave when I’m done with saving for the pickup truck and he then said I needed to start helping out on the power bill since I stopped buying his junk food.  Again the room and utilities were a part of my income because what little he paid me to do my job wouldn’t have been enough to survive otherwise, while he wasted so much on any and everything he wanted. 

When I told King Richard that defeated the purpose of saving money to leave, then how greedy he was again and that he seemed determined to take as much money from me as he could, his only response was… it’s only fair. Fair?  In what universe is taking any more of the money I worked for fair?   His universe apparently.  I guess it was okay for him to tie up my money for over two years while I worked for him for only room and board because I didn’t have anything else better to do.  Right!  I then told him we would both be homeless because I was tired of him ordering me around and flat out bullying me to submit to his ever changing will.  He stated that he had insurance and didn’t care if I burned the house down and his family would take care of him because they loved him.  Looking back King Richard has always relied on others to clean up his messes and this would be no different.  About the fire comment: I have been well known to say I will light someone or something up if they will not leave me alone after repeated requests to stop.  So I replied, I don’t need a lighter to solve all my problems.  He stated I couldn’t touch him so do whatever I needed to do.    

I told King Richard I would and had begun making the 5 stage plan after Christmas when he tried to put me on a cash basis, which meant I get paid a lot less if at all.  When I started writing The Other Side of the Story, it was a continuation of my mistakes in life to find out what I was doing wrong and why I choose people like King Richard to be in my life.  But as I wrote the piece out, which took several months and reading several books to study the issues, it became clear to me that I had to do something to protect myself against his constant bulling, lying and manipulations while he hides behind the facade of being a kind, caring man to the others in his life.  When I told him the plan was in place since February, he asked why would I do that instead of working on my own stuff.  I told him I was waiting for him to repay the loan so there was nothing for me to work on and he had proved to me several times over that it was necessary.  I have always been the type of person to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst and this would be no exception.  In fact, it was the right thing to do because here we were… but later you’ll read why I changed my mind and heart about following through.   


King Richard then left for a while and when he returned I apologized for my anger and told him that despite my best efforts he still pushed my buttons, as was his intention.  People like him know exactly what they are doing and enjoy provoking the most reactions from the objects of their focus.  I also told him again he knew it would take a year after he repaid the $33,000 loan before I could finish my work to be able to leave in the RV as was the plan.  King Richard knew all about the plan to leave and the time frame because I discussed it with him in depth starting when I called in the loan.  He even was looking for trucks on Craigslist for me and showing me several of them at different times to give me an idea of how much money I would need in addition to trading in my current vehicle.  Before this time, he had not stated once that he wanted me to leave immediately when the loan was repaid.  The closest he ever came was stating that this was not working out once… many months before, which was obvious.  I had agreed and then started to make plans to leave in the RV but had hoped that we could part civilly.  He waited until I was committed to purchasing the RV, planted my garden and had also paid the man helping with my father’s home before trying to throw me out of his house then firing me on the same day… but I’m getting ahead of myself again.  Had King Richard stated what he wanted at Christmas time clearly… before I committed to my plan and my garden… that he didn’t help with in any way, I could have been long gone by the end of February or whenever the loan was fully repaid which wasn’t until the week before I put a deposit on the RV.  

When I again told King Richard, I still needed time to save the money for the pickup truck, he stated it wasn’t his problem.   He then stated again, I had 4 to 6 months and I wasn’t taking his dog.  He then told me what Ray had said about my being here for 2 years, which was untrue and he knew it.  I then told King Richard, I was tired of Ray asking to borrow money all the time or offering to help me from his heart and then asking to be paid for his work with the garden.  When I volunteer to help someone with something along those lines I don’t do it to get paid, I do it from the heart.  When I work for someone however as I did work for King Richard, I do expect to be paid for the work I do and there is a difference especially when I’m clear about that right up front.  Both King Richard and Ray wanted it both ways and neither has a clue about how to be honest.  King Richard then stated that I was going to be out of a job soon maybe a few weeks or months.  I told him, fine I will find another job and I meant what I said about the 5 stage plan because I was tired of him bullying me into a corner and if he continued I would come out fighting as if my life depended on it, because it did.  He then asked why I moved in with him in the first place and I said because you asked me to.  I thought we were friends and I thought you had grown up.  You said you needed help with the paperwork and told me I’d be safe here away from people who wanted to harass me but in reality I was just a fool for believing his act because he did nothing but harass me himself.  A few days later after doing some serious rearranging I told him that if he continued to pay me for my work until September , just 4 months away, then I would be out by then.  I got no response.  I then asked him to at least tell me what would be my last check and again he would not even respond to that minimal request.  So I continued to ignore him to the best of my ability and made arrangements to park the RV at my father’s house. 

Later that night when King Richard left, I called one of his friends that he was close to because they had told me that they had their own problems with him and I wanted an outside opinion to find out if I was in the wrong.  Again I told them only what I wanted King Richard to know about my plans and at that time.  I have and will keep all confidences that were divulged because I gave my word.  What I learned was the behavior toward this friend and lies that were being told by King Richard that didn’t have anything to do with me.  In fact I did not ask for any information from this friend that had anything to do with me other than their opinion, because I didn’t want to put them in a bad position.  I realized that all these friends would be here long after I am gone and I don’t want them to pay for any help they may have given me, including another neighbor that has helped me do the most basic of things while I deal with this mess.  

What I also learned was this friend had tried talking to King Richard about many different things over their friendship with the same result I had… nothing ever changes and nothing ever will.  They did ask me a question though and it was “Does a woman or a girl know if they are going to sleep with a man within the first few moments after meeting each other?”  In my case I told him the answer was yes… but he cut me off before I could tell him that was the answer when I was younger.  Now that I’m older priorities change and looks are not near as important as they were then.  I think a lot of women my age are looking for more from men as they get older than they did when they were younger, such as compassion, integrity and security to name a few.   Too bad I couldn’t finish that sentence because it was important.  I did send this friend of King Richard’s an excerpt from the book Disturbed Characters to let them know what kind of person he was but in the end, they will probably continue to come back for more abuse because they cannot see any other way. 

Mother’s Day weekend was particularly strained for me because after working at my fathers during the day, I came back to King Richard’s house at night and did the work I was hired to do.  That Sunday I worked in the house all day while he was in and out.  Watching Lily outside with the neighbors dogs, I had made a decision about leaving Lily with him because she was too aggressive and with no fence at my fathers, there was no way I could take the chance of her attacking another dog or even a child in the neighborhood.  So I told him that if he ever decided to get rid of Lily for any reason to contact me through his neighbor and I would come and get her.  Hopefully, I would then be in a position to have a fence put in.  He then stated I could take her and I said that was fine but knew he had no intention of letting that happen.  In the next few hours he came home and said I had caught him in a weak moment after visiting his mother’s grave and now he was going to think about letting me take Lily with me.   Scott then asked if I was taking the stainless steel cook ware that he bought for me and at first I said no, I didn’t want anything from him, if fact didn’t even want him to piss on me if I’m on fire.  I was angry and tired of his games but later changed my mind when I thought back to when I asked him to buy it specifically because it was not chemically treated.  I wasn’t on the payroll back then and it was a small payment for my services even though the only reason he bought it was so I would cook for him more.  He then told me he called my own mother to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day but spent the day trying to make me even more miserable than I already was .  What a swell guy!  I spent the day while he was away talking to my son and Scott’s mother’s pictures about what was happening.  I asked his mother if she was proud of her son now and if she could possibly help him at all because he was well on his way to the dark side of life possibly because it really was his true nature coming out?  I also told her that I’m not sure but he may be too far gone to help and then told her how sorry I was for even bothering her because I really did hope she had found some peace after she died.  I then asked my son to forgive me once again for bringing people like Scott into my life and made a promise to him about keeping better friends if I ever get the chance.  I would also talk to him about many other things throughout the day, but this is not where I want to discuss Trey or how I still feel about what happened and life without him.  

By the end of the day, I was ready to finish the paperwork for the business.  That night King Richard went to the office just before I got started on entering the checks to balance the books and to do other paperwork.  He then started playing the banjo music.  He knows I don’t care for it because it is very distracting when it comes to focusing on that work.  He talked a bit but I was doing my best to ignore him until I got to the 2 dealerships that operate out of the same address.  Every check stub from one company has to be double checked because either the drivers don’t know who is doing what or the company itself changes people between locations to make it difficult to tell who to bill.  I was telling him about this and must have missed changing a few of the invoices because later Scott came in to ask about it when Sir Know it All was delivering them personally and found that 2 were wrong.  I also mailed 2 statements which didn’t have an address because those businesses usually pay their bill before the statements are sent out.  One of the businesses with no address had 2 different names because King Richard never clarified that one was not a dba of the other nor had he ever clarified what these business addresses were.  King Richard asked me about the 2 that were mailed without address and I explained what the problems where and apologized.  He went on without saying anything else. 

During the paperwork session I also told King Richard that my ex-boyfriend Marvelous had emailed to tell me that he “steel” loved me and wanted to know why I wouldn’t talk to him.  I thought the answer was quite evident but apparently not.  The only reason I told King Richard about it was because my ex had a habit of chasing one of his towing trucks down whenever he saw it.  I knew my ex would not take no for an answer and asked King Richard to not tell my ex anything about me or my plans.  King Richard got a large laugh out of it and stated he wouldn’t sic my ex back on me, but at this point, I would not rule it out.  I also told King Richard that I could image my ex getting caught cheating on his girlfriend and could see her throwing his stuff out the front door as I had done after he left when I caught him cheating and now my ex was probably homeless again.  King Richard stated that he would tell my ex that I left mad as hell and he didn’t know where I was going.  I told King Richard that was probably closer to the truth and could still happen.  Again he had a large laugh about that.  The next day, I also told King Richard that the con man was still calling my father and was asking about my where abouts as well.  Man when it rains, it pours!  

At some point later on in the week, King Richard came home right as I left to walk the dogs.  I left the door open for him and came home to a locked door and he was gone again.  What I thought was the spare key didn’t work so, I had to use a neighbors phone to call him to come unlock the door.  He came home and stated that I told him to lock the doors via the sign on our front door  which is true because King Richard would not close the doors or lock them, but leave them cracked open all night if I didn’t check after him constantly.  King Richard has never believed that anything bad could happen to him and takes way too many chances with other peoples safety because if it.  But right before he left, he said if he was such a narcissistic person he wouldn’t have interrupted his dinner to come home to unlock the door.  I said, I don’t know who you are talking to, but keep it up because you might learn something.  Later I remembered about impression management and figured that he made a big deal in front of whomever it was he was having dinner with or the neighbor whose phone I used, to make them think he was such a great guy.  I understand he reserves this bullying treatment for me and maybe his number one driver Sir Know it All, even if he doesn’t see it because he is just like him.   

The following weekend I could tell that something was going on because the junk cars were disappearing from the yard on Saturday.  Then on Sunday about lunch time King Richard had Sir Know it All and another of his friends in the house to start moving the office to the new business address.  I was never notified when that would take place.  Between the 3 of them they weighed about 900 lbs and it was only then that King Richard dared tell the truth about his intentions.  This was after he cut the phone and the internet off by taking the router and I walked into the office and confronted him in front of his friend and Sir Know it All.  I was working on my resume using an online service at that time.  I was mad and got tongue tied as I usually get when I’m emotional and under a lot of stress but I told him that this was payback for screwing him over and then Sir Know it All cut me off and made a big deal of that phrase instead of letting me finish my sentence.  I meant to say that this was payback for what ‘King Richard thought’ was me screwing him over and then finish with… but in reality it was just King Richard being his usual childish, arrogant, ignorant self.  So I tried to explain that King Richard’s idea of me screwing him over was me standing up for my rights because he has been trying to control me since I got here. It is hard to get a complete sentence out with either Sir Know it All or King Richard because they cut you off in mid-sentence and is why I write letters so I can complete a thought.  I told everyone in the room to take a good hard look at what was happening because this would happen to them when they didn’t bow down to the great man, King Richard.  I also said that the truth is the truth even if no one believes it and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it.   King Richard cut the phone and the internet off to force me out of the house which is illegal because my rent had been paid as soon as I finished the work but he isn’t interested in anyone’s rights as a human being much less one that had helped him do many things even though he will not admit that for any reason.  King Richard has had so much help doing so many things in his life but if you ask him he did it all on his own without any help.  

Sir Know it All then revealed that King Richard told him, it was King Richard who paid for my trips out of town last year which was a bold faced lie and I told Sir Know it All, the truth was in the boxes he was taking out the door, in the form of the bank statements.  The extra money in that account belonged to my mother before I transferred it back over to her new account in SC but Sir Know it All has no way to know that.  None of it belonged to King Richard in any way, shape or form.  Looking back I don’t know why I bothered to explain myself to Sir Know it All but I told him that all he had was Kind Richard’s word and his words mean absolutely nothing at the end of the day.  I almost gave Sir Know it All a copy of the Other side of the Story which was printed out and ready to deliver but decided to wait until the right time.  I paid for those copies at Fed Ex so if either of them tells you otherwise, I will show you the receipt.  Sir Know it All insisted that King Richard would never lie to him but I knew he had because I had heard the lies that King Richard has told Sir Know it All or the other driver on several occasions when over the phone and called him out on it several times.  The bank statements for our joint account were in those boxes and I told Sir Know it All to look at them, but then figured that King Richard would make up another lie to cover what was apparent in black and white and Sir Know it All would buy it hook, line and sinker because he wanted to be in charge of the company so bad he could taste it.  If I had to guess I would say that Sir Know it All got a nice raise for handling this ‘little situation’ using my former paycheck and King Richard used him becoming manager as bait to help do his dirty work, not to mention that it would relieve King Richard of even more responsibility while letting him still keep all the money.  But that is just a guess and really doesn’t make a difference at this point except if it is true then Sir Know it All has been bought by King Richard once again proving that it’s the only way King Richard can have anyone remain in his life.  Sir Know it All also stated that I didn’t do anything but key in a few invoices once a month and a little housework from time to time… as if he was ever here to witness any of what goes on behind closed doors.  All the while King Richard remained smugly confident and enjoyed the little drama that was unfolding in front of him as he usually does.  

King Richard then stated that he told me that there was to be no mistakes when it comes to the paperwork, which he never said to my face before that moment.  He then made a big deal about the mistakes I made but never dealt with the mistakes from the other drivers or the ones he himself makes on a regular basis that cost him thousands of dollars a year from one account alone.  I spent hours trying to figure out just what is what because they got sloppy with their paperwork and would leave me to clean it up.  Let me make a mistake and it becomes an excuse for him to force me out of the house and fire me from the job… which was their plan from the beginning .  Again I was the only one who was held to higher standards but King Richard and the other drivers can be sloppy, late, careless and completely wrong with little to no recourse.  King Richard told me in front of his friends that he would give me some ‘walking money’ of $1000 if I got out right then.  I also asked him to sign my vehicle title back over to me and he said he would not do it until I got out of his house.  But outside when I confronted King Richard again, he then said he would give me 3 paychecks to get out but no one was around to hear that.  

Sir Know it All came outside about that time and heard me say to King Richard that he had been trying to cheat me out of my pay checks for over 6 months and then Sir Know it All said he had something to do with that which later I would find out just how much he was involved with this whole drama.  Of course I thought at the time his involvement was based on King Richard’s never ending lies and then I told him that I would reveal most of what King Richard had said about him later.  Then King Richard said it sounded like slander and he would sue me if I slandered him.  REALLY?!?  Ironically King Richard had slandered me off and on for 20 years but when I tell the truth he gets really nervous because he knows I know the whole truth, not just what he wants others to see.  King Richard doesn’t understand that slander involves malicious lies for which he has perfected over the years.  I told King Richard that all he wanted was control and he cannot have it.  Then King Richard says that he has control over me as soon as I cross the threshold of his home while pointing to it.  Not on his life will that ever happen and that was the real issue here.  When people like him cannot control others the only thing they can do is cause as much damage as possible because it’s the only way they can feel good about themselves.  

Ironically King Richard had been complaining about how he was tired of Sir Know it All and wished he would just go away because he would argue with every decision King Richard made. King Richard was tired of telling him to brush his teeth, lose weight and was tired of the complaints he got on Sir Know it All from some of the nicer dealerships.  If you remember what I wrote in the Other Side of the Story about King Richard making it his mission in life to break this man if it’s the last thing he does.  When I suggested that King Richard had grounds to fire him where he could not collect unemployment because that was what he was worried about, I now understand how and why Scott used the information I gave him and could have used it against me.  I now think it was King Richard’s way of deflecting suspicion on his true intentions as well.  In my research I found out the narcissistic people usually find other narcissistic people to be friends with (or feed off of) and they conspire to use the divide and conquer techniques to achieve their goals of systematic harassment.  In other words… birds of a feather flock together.  It made me ever sadder for Sir Know it All’s girlfriend and her daughter because they have had to endure this treatment for much longer than I have with King Richard.  I hope they both know they deserve better and are worth so much more.  And the saddest part is when King Richard told me that Sir Know it All’s girlfriend was hoping that King Richard would rub off on him so he could maybe be a better person.  Well the jokes on us because neither of them are interested in being better people and wouldn’t know the first thing about going about it even if they did. 

Later when they were finished moving the office, I heard Sir Know it All tell Kind Richard, well that went better than expected because I had stopped participating in this farce of a showdown.  There was no point in using reason and logic much less appealing to the now long gone human that was once King Richard.  So I went to the neighbors to use their phone to call one person to help me start moving and another to tell them I would be late the next day.  They thought I was going to call the police but what could the police do at that point?  I accidently left the phone over at the neighbors when I grabbed it to look up the numbers needed and they returned it to King Richard.  He did not bring the phone back to the charger in the house and I’m not sure what he thought I was going to do with it.  I also knew that Sir Know it All was even a worse bully than King Richard but after thinking about it I couldn’t help but laugh at how cowardly King Richard was by having Sir Know it All do his dirty work for him.  King Richard can dish it out but never could take it and here was the proof once again.  King Richard came home later and looked pretty pleased with himself and I didn’t say another word.  He started to avoid me at all cost from that point on which was a blessing and only came home to sleep a few times in the beginning, then less and less.  I just started packing and over the next two weeks I stripped his house of almost everything I paid for and brought from my old home including all the food I purchased in the freezer and cabinets so I could at least eat, the cleaning supplies to clean my father’s house, the plastic hangers he uses for his uniforms so I could start hanging my own clothes up again, the stainless steel cook ware and eventually the window air conditioner unit.  He had been told several times I would take everything  and would leave him with only what he had to start with.  I did however leave several of the basics for him even though he didn’t deserve even that as far as I was concerned.  I had made up my mind that I was withdrawing everything I contributed to this psychopathic/sociopathic/narcissistic organization because I couldn’t not support this type of business or persons in any way.

King Richard did allow me to use his truck to move furniture one day, but only because he wanted me gone as fast as possible and even told me so.  I also made arrangements for our mutual friend doing the work at my father’s house to patch all the holes in the walls at my expense, even though King Richard said don’t worry about.  Which means, worry about it.  I also asked King Richard to keep Lily in his room the next night and take her to work with him as he stated was his intention and I would take Gus with me to my dad’s to get them used to being apart before we split for good.  King Richard ignored the request and Lily as well.  I knew from experience and the fact that he was telling people that he didn’t plan to honor his words one more time to teach me who is the boss of his house and the possibly included him destroying my garden.   

So I drafted a written agreement and letter for King Richard to be signed detailing what I would agree to and what I would not in regards to our parting of the ways, my severance check, the vehicle that belong to me and Lily… but in the end I decided that it was a waste of time and effort.  As for the 5 stage plan I has devised I struggled with myself as to whether or not to proceed with it.  My sanity and my soul was much more important than any war I could have waged against him and I have a deep desire to not incur any more karmatic debt than I already have done.  I know I could have made his life just a miserable as he had made mine, but then I wouldn’t be any better than he was and to me being a better person was far more important than a few thousand dollars.  There was a reason the people who know him in real life was going to be sent a copy of all of this and it is because I will not live with his lies another day and I wanted them to see for themselves the other side of the story instead of relying on his words about it.  After thinking about it I decided not to waste the time on sending this to them because the chances of them actually reading it were slim and I doubt that they care.

This could have gotten uglier and he would have had no one else to blame but himself.  The same goes for me because I am to blame just as much as he is.  I didn’t listen to my instincts when I was deciding to move in with him nor did I quietly make a plan to leave that would have been better and quicker when I saw what he was capable of.  Instead I chose to stay hoping I could finish something that was so very important in hindsight instead of finding another solution that would have gotten me out of there immediately.  I saw the signs and was already committed and stubbornly held on to the hope of finishing what I started.  I don’t need others to fight my battles for me nor did I ever hide the real me... because I shouldn’t have to... but I chose to fight a bully verbally by telling him what I thought about him while continued to do less and less as time wore on.  I should have used my knowledge of what he truly is and made better decisions about staying there after Christmas without relying on him to do the one thing he cannot do… which is to tell the truth when it counts the most.  This was not written because of pride or spite, but because no one should have to experience this from him again. 

King Richard had set me up, wasted my time and money all the while accusing me of doing the same thing to him.  Again it is called projection and gas lighting.  He knew full well he tried to cripple my ability to go forward with my life and waited for the perfect time to do it when I had used up the money in my account and had no time to find other work.  King Richard knew my father’s house was far from being able to sustain 2 people and I couldn’t get the internet or phone turned on until I came up with $782 to pay the bill left by the con man, the stove didn’t work and I didn’t even have the money to finish paying the man helping me fix dad’s bathroom who was kind enough to help me with a few other things that were dangerously present in the home.  I had spent my last few dollars on a cell phone, moving, bug spray because of the spider, flea and ant problem because I don’t want Gus to be bitten and trying to get the electrical problem sorted so it would not cause a fire.   

When I left on Wednesday the June 5th, the house was reasonably clean, all the garbage had been taken out, my dishes washed and the floor was swept so King Richard could not say I trashed his house and pictures were taken to prove that fact.  But as the time drew near for me to leave, he came home and asked me for the number to the vets office for which I told him it was on the computer.  He then asked me if he could call me if there was a problem with the business and I told him yes.  I didn’t tell him that if it was a problem that he or Sir Know it All had caused then he would be on his own.  I then asked him for the severance check and he said he had donated enough and I wasn’t going to receive anything else from him.  When I broke down in tears from frustration and told him I don’t have the money to even transfer the tag and title to my name on my own vehicle again he said it was my problem and walked off.  Unfortunately he had no idea that my tears were not for what he had said or done, they were for realizing that I may be stuck here with him for a long while and in turn being completely miserable.  I will tell you that I had almost decided to sit tight and force him to get an eviction notice which I could fight anywhere from 3 to 6 months all the while forcing him to either relocate temporarily or deal with me.  But King Richard turned around once again and said, I’ll tell what I’m going to do… I’ll give you $500 and by the way I found what you had written and left on my computer.  I told him thanks and I meant for him to find what I had wrote because I have no problem saying what I really mean to his face and at least that way I could get it all out without being interrupted for once.  He then said what I wrote in the other side of the story was only my opinion, which is true in a sense but an opinion based on years of observation, experience and recently a whole lot of research.  Little did he know that I had several people who were much more experienced in these matters read through the Other Side of The Story and they came to the probable conclusion that King Richard was a pathological meaning that he doesn’t have a soul, a conscious and King Richard had already admitted that he has no empathy or guilt for his actions whether it was directed to me or anyone else for that matter.  That was a hard thing for me to swallow because I had at least hoped that he had one… somewhere, sometime.    

And making King Richard evict me wasn’t even part of the plan, it was something thought of on the fly while I was seething with anger at his belligerent attitude.  The plan was simple because all I had to do was tell the truth to the right people at various times… and yes I took the time to collect the proof… and King Richard could have been out of business by the end of the year without so much as a second thought… if I wasn’t really concerned about my own soul and the very real issue of not wanting to be like him in any way.  Another book I have read since I left explained the situation in more detail and it’s called Unholy Hungers: Encountering the Psychic Vampire in Ourselves and Others.  It explained that the people I had termed as hoovers were really psychic vampires and they do indeed drain you of your very life force through a variety of techniques and for very many reasons.  The most striking one being is vampires have no life force of their own, no creativity or no inner landscape from which to draw strength from so they must find it from somewhere and consume every last drop.  Like a vampire’s bite that can turn a human into a vampire themselves, people like King Richard can turn a person like me or you into one of the very things I never want to be.  It’s very easy to dance with a vampire and play the game for me because I’ve known way too many of them in my life time that it’s almost like a second nature to me.  In fact, I have little experience with people who are not a psychic vampire and therefor have much to learn about that way of life.  It has become so very important to me to I learn new ways of handling myself because I want a better life with better people.  While King Richard may have started as a narcissistic wounded individual he eventually seized his opportunity to become a full-fledged narcissistic person willfully, consciously and happily.  He doesn’t know or care if there is another way and at the end of the day he will find his next victim to drain.   

King Richard said to meet him the day after I moved out at the bank to make the transfer of my vehicle and he would then give me the $500.  When he showed up late he only gave me $480 because he said he had to go buy new hangers and deducted $20.  It didn’t matter to him that I paid for those hangers before I ever came to his house and in the end I paid double if not triple for them.  That is another example of how deeply petty and greedy this man is.  When we finished King Richard said good luck as I was walking at the door for which I could only say… whatever.  But I was finally free from his constant energy drain and his complete fantasy world of it being all about him.  

I had been upset mostly because I felt so stupid for trusting this man to any degree and most especially over having to leave Lily.  Even though I couldn’t handle her aggressiveness at that time, I was upset that King Richard used her as nothing but a way to hurt me. I had broken down a few times in front of people that I should have never broke down in front of when talking about her.  It felt like I was leaving Trey all over again and King Richard knew that too, in fact it is probably why he did it, to inflict more pain and suffering.  When I said good bye to her I was in tears again and my heart was breaking because I loved her so very much. It was good that King Richard was over at Rays and wasn’t there to witness it.  I couldn’t afford to show King Richard any emotions because he uses them and it makes him so happy when he gets a reaction or makes people suffer.  He has been that way for years and has stated many times that his mother cried all the time, so it didn’t bother him one bit.  It has been very painful to realize how cruel and vindictive but cowardly King Richard is toward someone who has helped him as I have over the years, but not in the way he thinks.  The painful part comes from knowing I can be even worse and play his games even better than him and was this close to giving him some of his own medicine.  I know my own words can be cruel and I’ve dealt with worse men than him too many times in my life but I do not enjoy it in any way. 

The last few twist and turns in this story are the most interesting to me because some of it revealed much more about how I affected him than I thought.  When I was printing out the first copy of these posts I had to use his printer because mine wasn’t working right at the time.  To do that I had to save the copy he read on his computer which I planned to do any way.  But as I was copying each page I reread one of the last paragraphs to the story and decided to delete it from the copies to be delivered at a later date.  I did so not because it was wrong information or untrue, I did it because I realized that it had little to do with the main parts and I had enough information without using that piece which would have hurt another person who was only peripherally apart of the things that went on here.  This person only observed and helped me without getting in the middle and I needed to keep it that way for their sake.  After making the changes I must not have saved the changes to the document as I was in a rush to get many things done in a short time as possible.  After I left King Richard showed this person the paragraph that was deleted and did so with the intention of trying to ruin another friendship as was his normal routine, but this time it didn’t work.  I had spoken about the issue with this person directly before and learned a lot about the situation and in turn I told them how I felt about it long before it was brought to their attention again by King Richard.  

Later as I was out applying for jobs I went to a local pet supply store and after inquiring about a job I got to taking to the owner about unemployment and having just moved into my dad’s place.  When she asked what kind of work I was looking for I told her anything for right now to get me back on my feet.  I told her that I had been doing the books for a towing company and that didn’t work out because of the personal issues I had with the owner.  She asked what was the name of the business so I told her.  She then told me that King Richard and Sir Know it All where just in there the other day and King Richard had spent 2 hours detailing his version of what happened to a total stranger.  King Richard also asked her to relay a message to me about if I ever needed anything for my dog that he would gladly pay for it.  All I could do at that moment was roll my eyes and explain to her I wouldn’t be accepting any favors from him in the near future or ever for that matter.  Later again when Gus got sick I called her because she specialized in holistic products and I was looking for something that would help him or a suggestion as to what might have been the cause.  When King Richard came back into the store he must have been informed and then came back to tell his neighbor that Gus was at deaths door and how he offered to help me if Gus needed any help with the vet bills.  What a guy!  Some things will never change it seems and King Richard will continue to play the part of a caring human being when in reality I know that the human he may have been is long gone.  At some point he also told the owner of the pet supply place that he had moved his office very close by but after months of traveling back and forth to my old neighbors I highly doubt that he did, so that show of moving everything out could very well be just that… a show.

King Richard also did not fight my unemployment benefits when I had to eventually file and for that I am thankful.  I’m not sure if he didn’t open the letter and respond within the time frame given but I did text him to let him know I was going to apply so he had full knowledge as to what my intentions were.  He also didn’t tear up my garden possibly because it would be in plain view of all the neighbors and they could see with their own two eyes how shallow and vindictive he really was.  It was not out of the goodness of his heart.  He also made me remove all 144 cinder blocks from around my garden with little notice so I spent one full day removing them for the bed, hosing them off and stacking them to bring home about 20 at a time over that week.  The neighbor across the street watched me do most of it and when I was almost done came over to offer his help.  No thanks, I got it!  It seems as if he’s learned a thing or two for King Richard’s playbook. 

I did have to have THE conversation with someone again.  You know the one where I explain for the umpteenth time that King Richard and I were never together in a romantic relationship and I was told again that he thought so or at least that it was really going to happen.  They told me that he is still talking a lot about me after months of my moving out and what a crazy bitch I am.  I laughed and told the person that he will talk about me until the day he dies because that’s what he does… talk about everyone.  The absolute great part about this is… I could care less what he says to anyone about me. 


Here is the most interesting part.  When going to make my dad’s truck payment I ran into Sir Know it All’s girlfriend and found out that she had decided to leave Sir Know it All.  I was happy she was finding her voice and had decided to make a change for the better.  I was also surprised that she hadn’t been turned against me given everything that she must have heard.  She revealed a few things that led me to see how much Sir Know it All and King Richard were more alike than I first realized but I let her know that King Richard didn’t take all that much when it came to crossing over to the dark and twisted world of controlling everything in sight.  Now Sir Know it All and King Richard spend even more time together from what I see when I visit my neighbor and I couldn’t be happier.  The two of them deserve each other and maybe they will occupy each others time enough so they cannot find other people to drain, control, harass, or intimidate.

I’m sharing my story of dealing with a narcissist in the hopes that if you have read it and see any parts here that you are dealing with, you can now make your own choices based on facts and not fiction.  Having a narcissist around promising to save you is like someone throwing you a cinder block while you are drowning.  All the outside world can see is a square thing that looks like a float but when you grab onto it, it will pull you under the water.  If you continue to hang onto it you will certainly drown a slow death while the narcissist smiles a cool calculated smile until he turns to face the crowd with those big crocodile tears and proclaims… I tried to save them!  It is up to you to know how to save yourself from people like these and don’t expect much help from that crowd who has bought tickets to the show.  

"Don't let their "life is good" speech fool you. Narcissists ARE miserable people.
Why? They can NEVER EVER paradoxically believe themselves worthy enough to relax and enjoy the type of love and relationship that they so desperately crave.
Searching and yearning is exhausting. Although they enjoy duping others, pulling levers and pushing buttons to get their little rat treat of supply from others is tiring, like running on a treadmill that never shuts off.
They KNOW something's wrong. They just don't have the mental construct to be able to overcome their defenses to deal with their shame in any meaningful manner.
They're an addict that has ZERO CLUE what their addiction is, sort of like being addicted to the air they breath...all they know is that they have a strong and compelling urge and compulsion to avoid an emptiness inside that they cannot admit to or pinpoint."

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