Monday, May 21, 2012

Suppression Equals Depression.

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Ever wonder why so many people are depressed?  I have experienced a low level depression most of my life and even tried a generic script for one of those many medicines offered, can't remember which one now but I was sick to my stomach for 7 days and then... that was enough of that.  My body told me very clearly that it wasn't having it.  But at least I knew some of why I was feeling the way I did.  I wasn't happy with myself, my life, my family, friends or the world on any particular day.  Most of you can relate to the endless frustrations that mount up... and sometimes that simmering anger has no where to go.  And no matter how hard we work or what we do, it just never seems enough to keep the lights burning sometimes.  Just surviving is a depressing way to live.  I think the better question is why aren't more people depressed about the state of their lives than has been reported? 

It's gotten harder to find ones place in this life much less a career that we are good at AND makes us content at the same time.  As we grow older our choices should have expanded somewhat but I found that they are shrinking in this day and age, whether we are aware of it or not.  And still I am one of the lucky ones because so many out there have so little to make it through the day, much less a week.  But as I've gone through life thinking it could be worse, it actually was in the end... at least for me.  I put off happiness and made do with what I had just like so many others today, too busy to see how fast their life was flying by  and everything becoming a blur.  Societies standards for beauty and behavior have corrupted our senses into believing we must conform to be accepted.  Business life has invaded our every moment and the demands never decrease.  Our own misguided idea's of what is right or perfect for us seems to conflict with what is expected of us.  Sometimes we spend too much time waiting for something to happen instead of going out and making it happen.  We have submitted to the daily grind knowing full well that we'll be ground down ever so slowly, even while denying it but progressing nonetheless.   

I know some of the reasons of depression because I have lived too many of them myself.  You are probably exhausted to the bone, full of useless information that we all accumulate like sponges.  You may even be trapped in a relationship with someone who simply may not be the right one for you or is a full on psychopath in which their job is to drain you of any and everything possible.  You may have a job that is beyond soul killing.  Least you have one... right?  You may find that the people you care for the most are the ones that disappoint you the fastest and leave you high and dry. You may have an obligation to take care of another like an aging parent or a special needs child who will be with you until the end.  Some of you are just moms or dads staying home to care for your kids and have little time for adult conversations much less any of the extras that are never ending in their own right.  Then the guilt we feel as a result of just trying to find a piece of ourselves is usually quick and suffocates much of the experience.  We don't stop worrying about our kids just because they are grown and more often we worry about so many others that are either gone such as military families or whether they will get hurt doing a job locally.  Some of you are dealing with addictions whether it's yours or another persons and the stigmas involved.  Many of you have lost ones you love too soon and some like me have had to endure the unimaginable by losing one of our own kids in one form or fashion.  Sometimes it all seems pointless to even get out of the bed depending on what you are struggling with but like many of you, I didn't have a choice in the matter either. 

During these everyday trials we stuff a little bit more of ourselves in a box for later but sometimes later never really comes.  Most of us with a conscience have felt that we were meant for something more in this life without ever putting our finger on just what that was supposed to be.  I think maybe our soul knows this and if we don't acknowledge it then it lets us know in what ever means it has available.  I know my depression started when I was young over how unnecessarily difficult every thing seemed to be and when I got older it was not being able to engage with the world as passionately as I had done in my youth.  I let too much of myself get put into that box and before I really knew what was happening... is was all gone.  For the ones who have turned to a church for a way to plug the hole that seems to get deeper by the day, you may find some solace within the bible but very few answers that hold real meaning in today's world.  Most of the people sitting with you are in the same position and are there for the many of the same reasons and while you may meet some really wonderful people, your soul still has not found what it is looking for or what it needs to complete this journey.  So very many of you are going to a therapist or worse a script happy doctor with a pocket full of free samples just so you can get a handle on the mountain of responsibilities you face or maybe the fact that you can't meet them.  

I am not saying that therapist and clergy are all bad, even though I am am not a fan of religion as I've posted before.  I do also understand that the chemical imbalances in the brain are thought to be the problem but still think there are reasons for the imbalances that are usually left unaddressed.  Don't doctors practice medicine?  Now too many are merely drug dealers.  Most people are having a hard time being honest with themselves about so very many things, so how will they ever get to the root of the problems whether it be emotional or physically related?  Honestly is severely lacking in our society and I also think the more we deny the truth about ourselves and the world, the more depressed we can become which lead to entropy.  And more importantly it can cause you to miss things that could save your life... or the lives of the ones you love.  Apparently things like environment, stress and diet have a tremendous effect on our bodies, mind and moodsEmotions have another large part in our lives and sometimes seem to rule over us like a tidal wave.  The programs we have running through our minds 24/7 causes us to do things that make us miserable that in turn causes the emotions to ride the roller coaster.  Each time we deny the real problems in life we put a piece of ourselves in the box.  And the more of yourself that you put into that box the less you'll have to work with when you come to life's cross roads or even everyday decisions.  It will be easier to miss those all important signs that indicate where you should be going.  Missed opportunities means more depression and the cycles goes on and on... until you take control of your life and your health.  It will not be easy and there is no magic anything that will bring joy to your life.  I'm sure you'd have heard about it by now if there was such a thing.

Working through life's problems is tough and looking, seeing, understanding and applying effort to one's self is a monumental task.  Not everyone will be up to it and if you are be prepared to lose friends or family when you start on the journey to get out of the deep depressive state.  Everybody's got opinions but few people have the facts.  That's up to you to research because each case is different and needs different approaches.  If we as souls came to this earth, we came looking to feel the sensations and emotions of everything life had to offer, yet we spend a lot of time trying to forget the things we don't like.  To me that sort of defeats the purpose of being here, which is to learn by feeling, thinking and doing... then repeat as necessary.  But don't be surprised if you still go through a bout of depression from time to time, while you are still trying to resolve issues within yourself, because for some it seems to be or can be a stepping stone to deeper understanding of the meanings of life.  Well to the people who are sincerely searching for something more anyway.  I know that sounds odd but to me it also makes sense.   It took me a long time to realize that a lot of people I knew were all to happy to live the illusion as if it were a fun ride at the carnival without a thought of anything deeper.  I learned that I had been looking for people who were aware of the underlying realities that we all live with and they were few and far between.  For me not being able to connect and express myself with people who truly understand was and sometimes still is depressing.  Not being able to express my creativity and pursue the things that interested me was also suppressing to my soul.        

I have denied myself the things that I needed the most and did it to keep the peace within the circles I was in.  I found that once you start down that road it is harder to change course the further you travel down it.  I sacrificed for the wrong people and it was evident long before Trey died.  I must point out the obvious but assholes don't seem to have a problem expressing themselves or taking what they want, when they want it.  So it must be said that...

This is truly important and must be dealt with first before moving on the journey to freedom from depression.  There is hope and if you are willing to work on you and your life you will find a way.  Considering I've had so few issues with health problems after my youth I am relatively lucky.  As a child I had strep throat and later after Trey was born right before the break up of my marriage I had the shingles at 19 years old... and found my first gray hair at 22.   Later again around the age of 32ish I had the weirdest thing happen when I was washing dishes.  It felt like a drain plug had been popped in my feet, where the energy just drained out of me, which caused a slight dizziness.  I had to sit, then lay down on the floor where, I suddenly got extremely hot and then finally start to sweat, which then let me cool down.  Although I've never had high blood pressure, in fact it falls on the low side, I'm not sure what the slight roaring in my ears were either.  It was over in less than 10 minutes but I still felt weak when I got up for a bit.  That happened one more time about a year or so later and then... that was that.  Never happened again and I've been trying to research if that was a panic attack or what.  Other than constant sinus trouble my biggest problems by far were my teeth which I've talked about before.  Not matter how much time, effort and money I poured into my mouth, it wasn't enough to save them and they started to fall out piece by piece.  I know drinking soda's didn't help, nor the junk food I ate, but the more I have been reading the more I'm understanding the connections to all the unresolved issues probably had an even bigger impact on the health of my teeth.

Sick and tired of being sick, tired and stressed out to the breaking point? Then this article written by Gabriela Segura MD will help you tremendously and naturally.

7. Practicing Awareness >>>>>