Thursday, December 20, 2012

Children and Pit Bulls at Christmas

<<<<< Volume 1. Vol. 2.>>>>> 1. The Weirdness Within, 2. The Uncomfortable Consumer, 
3. Technology, Me and Programs, 4. When will we ever learn?, 5. Sex, drugs and smoking,
6. Suppression Equals Depression, 7. Practicing Awareness, 8. Long Distance Friendships During War, 9.  Away we go, 10. Children and Pit Bulls at Christmas, 11. The other side of the story...I & II, 12. The things that divide us, 13. Getting a plan together and a Garden, Click the links within the post to see the relevant stories, pictures or videos and thanks for stopping by!

By now most of you have heard or read about the shootings in Connecticut where 20 children around 6 years of age and 7 adults, lost their lives in a terrible act of cruelty.  Just before that happened locally we lost another teenager named Kayla due to a possible suicide and she was just 16 years old herself.  This young beautiful life and death was on my mind when the news broke about the Connecticut shooting and my heart broke again, much like many of you who've heard and cared.  To me it is another long list of innocent lives lost because we are too preoccupied to pay attention to what the world is coming to.  A lot of people are trying to draw attention to the plight of other children around the world who are in far more dangerous situations than we have right here at home.  For each of them who try to educate the public on what we, as a nation are doing to other kids around the world... you have my deepest, heartfelt thanks.

It's still hard for me to find the right words that express all the sorrow and pain in my heart but for those innocent ones I must find the words... for them.  They are the ones that really matter to me because their voices have been drowned out with all the focus on the perpetrators of evil in our world... and the ones that will capitalize on these events.  And for their parents I can imagine all to well the dark times they are going through and understand that few words can ease the pain they feel.  Even with losing my own child I cannot even fathom losing a child to the hands of a person or persons that simply saw them as a means to an end.  A justification to get whatever they wanted at any cost.  But that's what is happening here in our own country and it is happening with more frequency.  We are losing our innocent ones all over the world at an alarming rate for all the world to see, but few are changing their views, instead trying to fit everything in a black and white category.  And even fewer are actually standing up to this imposed control system with any clue to what the real problems are that we all face... everyday.  

I know it took me losing the most important person in my life to stand up for what is right and it shouldn't have to be that way.  If I had done it while Trey was still here maybe things may have turned out differently... maybe not.  But each and everyone of you who have children or care for a vulnerable individual should not wait until it's too late... like I did... like the parents of Sandy Hook did.  The people in charge of this world do not care for you, your loved ones or the quality of life because if they did... things would already be different. People would not feel the need to protect their kids with Kevlar and school would be a place to learn about life... not death in all its forms.  But instead we mostly just follow the rules and keep our head down hoping that all the ugliness will pass us by without a mark.  It is this attitude that has led us to where we are today.  

Each of the children at Sandy Hook, in Palestine, Syria and the countless other countries who have lost their lives are not the first casualties of a war so insatiable that not one of us is safe from all that it touches.  Instead of looking at the capitalization of this entire system created by and for the greedy, most are still arguing about gun control or claiming that this is an act of God so we all must bow down and pray.  While it never hurts to pray, it does hurt when we choose prayers instead of action based on evidence to prevent another senseless tragedy.  If you are wondering just what to do, start researching everything you think you know and then do what you can do to withdraw from this psychopathic system while helping others do the same.  Sounds simple huh?  Well it's not and it is a life changing process that will take an enormous amount of effort.  It may even separate you from the ones you love the most as they can not understand why you are doing it.  But the only other choice is to stay calm, complacent and clueless as this world changes minute by minute.  I'm certainly no expert in anything and don't know how much of a difference I can make... but I will try.                

So where do pit bulls fit in to this story?  Well, we have a fairly new neighbor who owned a beautiful and so sweet pit bull named Sue.  She was so gentle and shy but I only got to see her a few times.  I had no idea that the man who got her wasn't allowed to have pets in his rental property due to the agreement he had signed when he moved in.  But he found her and rescued her and loved that dog so very much.  Because we have two dogs I can certainly understand the connection to these beautiful beings because my dog Gus saved my life after Trey died.  The bond that we have established will not be broken that easily.  The woman that owns this neighbors property found out about Sue and demanded that the renter either get rid of the dog or move.  My neighbor spent a month quietly trying to find a place for the dog with no luck and I didn't have a clue until it was all over.  Unfortunately it was too late to save Sue because after Animal Control picked the dog up on Wednesday, Sue was put down that night... no looking for a home for her... no chance at finding a place in this world simply because of the rules.  She was a pure breed pit bull and that is a death sentence here in North Carolina.

After researching the owner of the property I found that she is a Remax realtor who sells homes throughout the area and lives in one of the better communities in Charlotte... not the hood where we currently reside.  The owner is not legally liable for the damages she has caused and because the renter had Sue without consent, I do understand that he is partly responsible as well.  But the fact remains that just because she was within her rights to enforce the contract, doesn't mean that it was a morally correct thing to do.  Her greed and apathy caused a innocent being to die and I personally think it should be well known throughout the real estate land.  If you or someone you know is looking for a property to buy or rent, I would advise that you not use her or her service because her ideals are not conducive to life, freedom and happiness.  Her ideals support greed, control and the loss of life.  A dog might not be as important as the children of Sandy Hook, or the teenager who took her life... but any breathing creature on this planet deserves to have a place whether it is allowed by the never ending rules or not.  And what we allow will continue... until we make a stand.  I may be too late to save Sue and I will live with that from now on because I didn't make an effort to talk to the renter sooner.      

I  was a property owner for a while trying to rent the home I lived in and know just how hard it is to find good quality people who will take care of the property.  There are 4 others homes for sale and rent just on this street alone so inventory is way up and demand is way down in these times.  Since this renter has moved in he has done a wonderful job of turning the house into a lovely property and I would have been lucky to have had him for a tenant.  Since he's lived here he even cuts our grass regularly and that is something you just don't find too often anymore.  Unfortunately the renter didn't have the resources to move especially at Christmas time and he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  My heart goes out to him as well because he lost a friend that day here at Christmas too.  The heartlessness of this owner must be addressed in any manner that is possible.  The owners name is Sylvia A. Hefferon and here is her web page.  Her address is 1108 Bellemead Ln. Charlotte NC 28270-9755. 

As for the Animal Control people, their hands were tied because of the policy set forth by the Charlotte City Counsel that classifies pit bulls as a dangerous breed and therefor refuses to let them be adopted.  This blanket status is completely wrong and each situation should be accessed accordingly.  It gets even worse because on December 16, 2012 a police officer shot at two pit bulls and killed one because the officer was either scared and over reacted or uncaring.  Again I understand that sometimes coming upon a large unfamiliar dog in stressful situations can be a challenge for any seasoned professional... but this is the job... they signed up for.  What makes this even worse is the woman, Janneth Sanchez is pregnant and the bullet came very close to her when this happened.  She could have lost two kids that day in one single moment.  I understand that a single action can change the course of many lives in an instant and we need more people who are willing to take the time that is needed... when it is needed most... before something happens.  If you'd like to join her Facebook page to learn how you can help here is the link for Chino and Ivy.        

The arbitrary application of rules, laws and accountability is as wide spread problem throughout the land for animals and people... especially the innocent.  To me it is discrimination and oppression even in this day and age.  It is wrong and I'm tired of living in a world that passively accepts this as being just the way things are.  There are way too many animals that are bought and dumped at the high kill shelters as well and until we all take responsibility for our actions we need not punish them for our crimes.  The innocent need our help and our voice because theirs is being lost in the insanity that is the new normal now a days.  You have two choices, follow the rules or do what is right and the choice will always be yours. 

11. The other side of the story... >>>>>



Monday, August 27, 2012

Away we go.

<<<<< Volume 1. Vol. 2.>>>>> 1. The Weirdness Within, 2. The Uncomfortable Consumer, 
3. Technology, Me and Programs, 4. When will we ever learn?, 5. Sex, drugs and smoking,
6. Suppression Equals Depression, 7. Practicing Awareness, 8. Long Distance Friendships During War, 9.  Away we go, 10. Children and Pit Bulls at Christmas, 11. The other side of the story...I & II, 12. The things that divide us, 13. Getting a plan together and a Garden, Click the links within the post to see the relevant stories, pictures or videos and thanks for stopping by!
Hi again!  It's been a little bit since I've had time and the thoughts to write.  There have been a few things going on this summer that have been out of the ordinary.  Well at least for the last few years, anyway.  A friend and I went to West Virginia to see her dad and enjoyed a "little stroll' through the park.  And by stroll, I mean hike... uphill and yes it felt like both ways!  I had to stop a few times to get my breath and still felt like I was pushing 60.  Going up hill is not like taking the dogs around the block and although it almost kicked my butt... I made it to the top of the lookout... at the top of the mountain.  See?

After that little trip we went to the beach to see her mom and enjoyed a few days in the sun.  Yes, I still get lobster red when in the sun and it was hot but I made it!  The hotel was great and there was a lot to do.  We even saw Elvis!

Well not the real Elvis but this guy... David Cheney and did a pretty darn good impression and had a wonderful rich voice.  Yeah I know... I'm getting old... so what else is new?  You may wonder who the friend is I was with and it would be Spunky from The Rack.  She is the one who introduced my to my current roommate 20 years ago and after many years we reconnected.  After a summer hanging out a little a few days ago we both ran into an old bar patron from that time too and the blast from the past continues.  This lady was also another old neighbor of mine in the old homestead place, but she moved before the hood moved in.  And looking at her was like a way back machine because she literally had not changed in 16 years.  It was amazing and as you may guess the difference between us was startling.

While things are slowly coming together around here, it is still a long way away.  Trying to make decisions while factoring in what's going on in the world is harder than it looks.  But I've come to the decision to buy the RV and at the very least have it handy in case there is a need to get away.  I've been searching for one now about 2 weeks and the good ones are getting gone fast so I have got to step up the search.  I have mixed feelings about this and will describe them more in detail in a latter post. Also Trey's 22nd birthday is coming up soon and it brings fresh new feelings of sadness as well as seeing all the kids going back to school.  Bittersweet memories for sure and I'm missing the little bugger even more.  But for now I must get ready for another beach trip coming up soon.  Sort of a last vacation before the work starts in earnest.  So until then... take care of you! Hugs...      

10. Children and Pit Bulls at Christmas >>>>>

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Long Distance Friendships During War

  <<<<< Volume 1. Vol. 2.>>>>> 1. The Weirdness Within, 2. The Uncomfortable Consumer, 
3. Technology, Me and Programs, 4. When will we ever learn?, 5. Sex, drugs and smoking,
6. Suppression Equals Depression, 7. Practicing Awareness, 8. Long Distance Friendships During War, 9.  Away we go, 10. Children and Pit Bulls at Christmas, 11. The other side of the story...I & II, 12. The things that divide us, 13. Getting a plan together and a Garden, Click the links within the post to see the relevant stories, pictures or videos and thanks for stopping by!


The world of technology has opened many doors for the good, bad and ugly.  I want to highlight the good today by writing about some really wonderful people I've had the privilege of corresponding with over the years.  People who I've never met in person but have found a connection with over the internet.  But these are good people in very bad positions which are a direct cause of our own government.  If you are even remotely aware of the conflict that is ever growing in Syria then you might have an idea about the contradictions I'll be writing about.  If not then please let me introduce you to a wonderful, beautiful soul that I've been chatting with for about 4 years.  Pink Rose was one of my first Facebook friends and has stuck it out with me until this day.  She was always encouraging me and understood the pain of losing a child as if she had to endure the heartache herself.  For me the depth of empathy she had was an incredibly rare ability and I'll always be thankful for her, her friends and family.

You may be thinking how well do I really know her being on the internet and all.  And I must admit it is harder to really know people from behind the computer screen but at some point, maybe even before we became friends, I added her real time, real life best friend to my Facebook friends as well as her dear nephew.  Her name is Domi and she is another beautiful sweet soul and his name is Jacob, a handsome bright young man with a lot of natural creative talent.  Over the years the two friends bantered back in forth and I can see that they loved each other dearly and had many family get togethers, even in this day and age.  What always impressed me in some of their pictures is they all made time for one another and... they were really happy.  It's very hard for some of us over here in America to have time, inclination or even the will to scramble through the day, but from what they have explained to me, over in Syria they did enjoy a different way of life.  They still and always will love their country AND their President.  They are not afraid to say it either but as always the western media is twisting the facts to justify the ever rolling war machine that must be preserved at any and all cost.  For me it is just plain horrifying to message my friends and tell them how sorry I am for my part in this nasty display of full on psychopathic greed under the guise of democracy.

The hard part is finding that too many people in my location have wrote off all the fighting in the Middle East as one ongoing event and not understanding that the geography, politics and most importantly the people are very different.  I'm not taking anything away from the victims of Palestine because they have suffered for many years and deserve their rights to their land, life and liberty.  I'm also not taking anything from those in Libya who recently had their whole way of life yanked out from under their feet... again from US imposed democracy... or any other land that is currently under attack.  I understand that it was all a bit hard to keep up with when we were younger, but with technology as abundant it is, it is no longer a viable reason to remain ignorant.  I was just plain lucky to have met Pinkrose, Domi and Jacob on the social networking site, at the time that I did.  Again when I first started Facebook I played a lot of the different mindless games while trying to deal with the loss of Trey and it was through that activity I found some of the most incredibly open, warm and supportive souls that kept in touch and encouraged me in the most kindest way possible.  I don't know about you guys, but that still means something to me and I think it is really important to acknowledge those who have made a difference in our lives.  It is for them I want to share some of her messages with those who are willing to listen... After years of light banter between us girls, things started to really change for the worse and this first message was one of distress, quite understandably.

PR: good morning Kristin its 7 45 A m now in syria...i just want to thank u a lot for sharing videos that expose the truth about whats going on in syria...we really need that support from all the world....its breaking my heart how we used to live in peace we used to love each other to do whatever we want...many people think wrong about the middle u know that my daughter is studying in british school where all her subjects re in english..she play tennis swim and most people do the same and maybe more..domi s kids re studying in french telling u that cause i know how much u care about us....we re not riding camels anymore like the west like to say about u know that we can go out alone (women) after midnight we go parties play cards...all that is over now we lost all our safety and all that is because of usa and europe i really dont know what they want from us..why our happiness is bothering them..who told them that we want freedom or democracy....i have the rights as christian here in syria maybe more than any christian in the world....please i want my voice to reach all over the world....and i need my friends help...........wish u the best..and sorry for bothering u in my problems but since 7 monthes im totally sad i cant sleep thinking of all those innocence young men who are dying every day for nothing............hugs and kisses 10/27/11

Me: Please don't apologize! I am here for you in the only way I know how and my heart breaks for you. There are large demonstrations going on here in a LOT of cities. The wealthy elite are trying to destroy everything in their path for control over the world. Some are finally waking up....rather slowly but it is still a start.

We here in america we could only dream of living the life you guys had and that is the big story that is NOT talked about. We have been programmed to believe the lies and some people will not wake up at all. For that I am truly sorry...but I am done being silent. I have felt trapped most of my life and have decided that being a slave to capitalism was not going to happen any longer. I have unplugged from the system as much as possible and refuse to enter again!

I have grown to love a few people in this world and you and family are one of them. I am so sorry for what is happening because we should have been paying more attention and now I am sure things are going to get even harder for us all. God bless you and hugs and much deserved peace.... 10/27/11

Me: The more I read about what is truly going on the more my heart breaks. I know you don't have a lot of time to let me know what's going on in Syria but I saw where Domi has already moved. After reading this article I can understand why and hope you and your family can find a way to stay clear of the dangers of war. If that's even possible because I know you love your home and your president. There is going to be so many changes for us both in this new weird world we are living in and I just want to say be careful my friend. I would love to met you one day... so stay safe! Hugs and hope... 02/10/12

PR: My dearest friend I'm so sad i cant stop crying 2 big explosions this morning in aleppo where i live so many dead people most from our brave army i beg u tell everyone u know America and Europe re paying to the terrorist to kill us maybe one day u ll hear that I'm dead so pray for us we just have god now who we hope he ll save us. Thx sweety for your caring 02/10/12

Me: GOD Bless you my friend and all that have fallen to the greed few. I will always care and feel so helpless... but I am here and will continue to share as much info as I can. I love you... be safe! 02/10/12

PR: Thx dear in spite of everything we sill have hope that one day the world will hear our voices .... love u 02/10/12

Me: Hi my friend. You and your family have been on my mind so much lately and I love the family pictures you posted. How are you? Silly question? It still pains me to know what my country is doing to yours and I hate it with all my heart.

I want to write a piece about you and your family in my blog with your permission, for the few people who may read it and would like to know if I could use a few pictures of yours from FB as well?. I just want the people who know me, to see the truth about what is going on there because it is so important. I feel so helpless and all I have is my words to help open people eyes to the tragedy you have to endure on a daily basis.

Please know you are not forgotten and I dearly love our friendship. There have only been a few people in this world who have touched my heart and you are one as well as Domi. Things are changing here in my own personal world too and I just want to say I love and pray for you. Hugs 05/25/12

PR:  My dearest friend Kristin your words touched the very deep of my Heart and made me cry i really apprecate your caring especially in this time when I m feeling so sad and helpless.. U know that one year before we used to live happy live in a lovely and safe country with my great family. i have my own shop where I work .. But now what everything had gone my country had been ruined we can't go out as before and even when we go we re not sure if we re going to be back home or we will being killed or kidnapped .. My lovely brother immigrated with his wife who used to be my best friend.. lately I was obliged to close my shop and i have a loan to the bank so maybe if i dont pay... so soon my house will be taken from me.. A whole life ruined But i still have faith that God will help me and help all the Syrians who lost everything because of dirty game was played by America and Europe ... sorry to tell all that but I'm really so i need to talk to someone... about the pics ... Hun I trust u so so much so feel free as my page is yours .. and I really hope that things get better here and u can come to here to see my adorable county and my lovely family... love and hugs to u.  05/25/12

Me:  That is so very sad. It is so wrong for you to lose everything you've worked for on top of just trying to stay alive day to day. I've only had to walk half that road and can't imagine the rest. It is okay for you to be upset and MAD!!! I would be, I AM.

Thank you for letting me share your story with anyone who'll listen. If the truth is repeated often enough... just maybe people will start to see what is truly going on. I am a slow writer but as soon as it is finished I'll send you a link to make sure it is okay with you. I will be doing a little research on Syria and want to make sure I get it right. Things are tightening here in the US as the crackdowns on freedom are increasing, but a few more people seem to be waking up every day.

I may not have too many answers but I am here to listen if you need to vent about anything. I can't tell you things will be alright... but I know you are one strong woman and you will be able to make them right... in time. God Bless you, your family and your country! Hugs.. 05/25/12

PR: hi really so sorry for my last message i was so mad and upset at that time..i was just heard that someone whom i knew was kidnapped and i was so sad for him..dont be worry dear..also things re so bad but i still have a big faith that things will be soon better..syrians love and adore their country make us strong and in spite of everything we re trying to live our life as usual...sometimes in spite of the bombs outside i go out with my daughter im sure that if i would die...i would even if i am at home hiding like chicken..about what u re writing if u need any information i can help and so jacob will..he is a young brave guy who adore his the way i feel selfish that i always tell u about my problem and i never listen to u..please fell free to tell me anything u want..u ll find a real true friend who listen ..share...and help...and again and again im really wanting u to come here to syria someday..all what u need is a ticket and u can live with us and i promise u..u ll enjoy it a hugs.. 05/25/12

PR: hi dear how re u...i just wanted to tell u that things re so so bad here..we re extremely afraid and we even dont know if we re going to stay alive or not..all what i want from that if something happen to tell everyone u know..that im a syrian woman who used to live in a wonderful country..then America AND Europe..came and ruined my adorable Syria...please..pray for us now..or for our souls if we die..and remember always that u re one of the most wonderful women ive ever u a lot..god bless u 07/25/12

I don't know about you, but could you imagine how you'd feel trying to live any sort of life while under threat of kidnappings, bombings, killing of innocent people with the constant fear of losing family members and everything you have ever worked and saved for.  Do you think that it can't possibly happen to you?  Why must we send more of our kids to kill other people kids for the sake of money, control and power to an already insane inhumane system?  So who would you believe?  The bought and paid for media or a real human being, living in the middle of this never ending conflict over control.  Me personally, I will go with my dear friends words for they carry far more weight than any government official.  While a lot of my FB friends are still debating which president to vote for in this coming election or better yet trying to figure out which is the lesser of two evils, I can only hope that they will see they are still voting for evil anyway they look.  The truth is our society now values death and destruction more than life and creativity born of freedom.  How much longer will you remain silent about the things that are important?  You probably don't have all that much time before even freedom of speech is revoked on a technicality... so you might want to hurry up! 

Well guys, this is important to me because I see the human being behind the words from one across the world.  I have a lot in common with Pinkrose, more than I ever thought possible.  I have lost many people very dear to me and more importantly I've had a hard time being heard... but it hasn't stopped me yet. ;)  I have stated a few times I have been curious of other cultures and now more than ever because I CAN!  Each one of you out there can too if you put aside whatever BS you've gotten from the tube and simply take a little time.  The people are real and they MATTER.  They have hopes and dreams just like us and they want to live without our interference.  The world is still full of wonders if only for a little longer.  Don't miss out and please think responsibly.  Lives are depending on it! 


Classified documents reveal German government is aware Al-CIA-da is responsible for atrocities in Syria, no evidence Syria government involved with the Houla massacre.

Terrorists in Syria Execute Pro Government Families

Tens of Thousands Flee Syria's Largest City

The Syrian Opposition: Who's doing the talking?  

NATO preparing vast disinformation campaign against Syria   

Syria's Bloody CIA Revolution: A Distraction?   

NATO's 'Civil War' Machine Rolls into Syria  

Political Hypocrisy: 'America's Syrian friends and Afghan foes are same people' 

The US & Syria: Facts you should know  

Pretext to Wage War on Syria, Turkey and the Gulf of Tonkin~ Redux   

Syria warns NATO conspiring against Damascus  

Truth Dies in War Eyewitness version of Houla massacre   

9. Away we go.>>>>>    

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Practicing Awareness

<<<<< Volume 1. Vol. 2.>>>>> 1. The Weirdness Within, 2. The Uncomfortable Consumer, 
3. Technology, Me and Programs, 4. When will we ever learn?, 5. Sex, drugs and smoking,
6. Suppression Equals Depression, 7. Practicing Awareness, 8. Long Distance Friendships During War, 9.  Away we go, 10. Children and Pit Bulls at Christmas, 11. The other side of the story...I & II, 12. The things that divide us, 13. Getting a plan together and a Garden, Click the links within the post to see the relevant stories, pictures or videos and thanks for stopping by!

Being aware of your surroundings and yourself is so very important to everyday life and many people who believe they are aware are misleading themselves and usually others too.  While volume 1 was a highlight of the struggles with the outside world, this volume of work is trying to describe the struggles from within the inside.  This is by far very hard to put into words so please bare with me.  I am only partially aware or awake but I also know that it is a hard state to maintain for long periods of time.  For lack of a better word or phrase it's like being on guard at all times, which is clearly impossible because we've got to sleep.  For me to sleep, I have to relax my guard and try to process the informational input of the day.  It takes energy to stay on guard and I've noticed the longer I try to maintain it, the more mistakes I make which also leaves me frustrated.  And this is after years of practice but when I was growing up I was just as naive as a turnip fresh off the truck.   

I can remember being young and bored of course, laying in my bed at night looking up at the ceiling and zoning out, but thinking the entire time... I can't believe I'm really here.  As in on earth, not so much being in the house then I would fall asleep and off to never never land.  In the morning, I would wake up and it was more like... okay now what?  The possibilities seemed endless and those were the years when the optimist was not so in the closet and ruled my thoughts regularly.  Then the disappointments were the constant companion to the optimist, which caused me to rethink the whole thing eventually.  I finally accepted the fact that life wasn't fair because enough people told me over the years, that I got the point... but not without a fight called experience.  And I could never find an explanation for why life wasn't fair for everyone that suited me.  Yes I was young but I have written before that a lot of kids understand simple life rules of fairness, which adults tend to forget...especially when times get tense.  

While I know that sounds like a petulant child's view, it started with watching a teacher punish a whole class when only one person misbehaved.  I know it's a silly thing but still felt it was so wrong especially if I was the one misbehaving.  It was small things like this I have detailed off and on through out my posts that would set off a light bulb... sometimes much later down the line... but still it was a piece to the puzzle.  Once I learned of cliches and why they came about it was sort of a guide line but still very lacking about specifics or reasons and that's what I wanted to know... why things happened.  I had almost given up on the why of things because there was never a clear answer.  Even with my growing curiosity about psychology over the years, the best answer to why things happen was... because it could.  If you've been hurt, lost, tired or scared at any time in your life, you'll understand when I say I really wanted to find a way to keep these things from happening again... as if that was possible.  It really is what you learn from the experience that can help the next time you face it.  

But knowing what to look for takes time, effort and the will to see it, with a true understanding of what you see, hear, feel, touch or taste.  It is watching body language, listening to tone of voice and being able to read between the lines or translating the real meanings of certain key phrases, especially if they are repeated often enough.  And most importantly looking at the clues that are available and understanding what they mean by doing your own research can help you determine if what is being presented is real or fake.  While I learned a lot, I can't say I trusted myself or even the information I had as being real.  If enough people tell you, you're crazy then it has the ability to make you doubt every decision you make.   But I eventually understood that perceptions played a big part in peoples views and that always depended on experience, intellect, emotional intelligence, motivation or agenda and environment.  Persistence and practice pays off too when you are trying to learn how to anything.  It was the only thing I had when I first started out and even my friend Sherri stated one time... you aren't the smartest person I've ever met but you are determined when you make your mind up.  Considering that Sherri was brilliant, I didn't take offense and was really kind of flattered.     

I have known for a long time that we can only make decisions with whatever information is available at that time.  The problems arise when that critical piece of information is withheld, not for self protection but for self advancement.  Strategic enclosure is for external and internal considerations and is to be employed when trying to wake up from the illusions that surround us.  Like the relationship or endeavors that we have high hopes for verses the dead end that it is.  Sometimes when the signs are all around they are misinterpreted or flat out ignored because it is just too unpleasant to think about.  I call that willful ignorance and it surrounded me all too often.  Before Trey's death it was somewhat easier to deal with but now I find I have even less tolerance for willful ignorance because it translates to I don't care.  I've been around far too many people who just don't care and wanted to find more people who do, but never took the time to get out of my comfort zone.  The eternal optimist was sure that more people were out there who understood the basics and were working toward the advanced lessons in life, but found out.. that just isn't so.   

That is the hard part for me because I have to wait for the honeymoon to be over before I meet the real people.  Later when I realize that things in any situation are changing for the worse, it is time to move on... I am still debating as to whether this is a program or not because it implies I am a fair weather friend, when sometimes I realize the relationships have just traveled as far as they can go.  I also knew that enabling people to continue on a destructive path was not helping them in the long run and didn't want to stick around and watch the train wrecks that were bound to happen.  So, I understand commitment phobia and I understand that people want different things but I didn't understand why they can't be honest with themselves until I realized that very few people can really do it.  It is terribly hard to look at ones life with a brutal honesty and understanding of the machinations that lie just beneath the surface.  I think they call that seeing the invisible 3rd man or force and now I understand that so much more than I did when I first read the term.  The important part is being able to realize your own part in the whole thing buy knowing yourself and owning your beliefs, choices and actions in life. 
For me being even semi aware was so frustrating because I didn't have a clue what to do with the information to actually be effective in my decisions and still struggle with this daily.  When you are forced to read between the lines even with the ones you care about, you're still going to be wrong from time to time... no matter what action you take.  For me that was worse because I was aware of my failings sometimes even while they were happening.  There were times I wished I could unsee some of the things I've seen or experienced in life and I had wondered if ignorance wasn't bliss because they do seem so happy.  Since I had the gift of friends and family that loved to push hot buttons, I've learned a lot about what really pushes mine.  I mean, I do understand that we all have issues and I give people the room to either deal with them or not... because I need room to deal with mine.  The problems come when they make their issue my problem without reason, logic or effort on their parts to solve it.  I noticed that some people brought out things in me like creativity, competitiveness, anger, sympathy, sadness, guilt or even gentleness and contentment depending on the person and situation.  It made me ask myself why was I controlled by my emotions and why did I care so much about things that were happening at any given time?      

Little did I know that working to get rid of and at least identify as many of my issues as I could, it helped me see that others weren't willing to put forth the efforts to do the same.  Sometimes I still prickle when people use strategic disclosure for self advancement, offer false hope or have undeserved entitlement issues.  Lots of people like to keep their options open that make my commitment phobia look tame.  So what I would do in an attempt to over come both of those issues, I would take a step forward and then wait.  If the other person was serious in their commitment to whatever it is, then they will take the step as well.  If not then, there you are... waiting... again.  Waiting for other people to do anything is one of my stubborn programs that I still need to work on.  I have also grappled with why I want certain things and debate if it is self important to desire them.  Things like peace and quiet when needed or to be heard by the ones I love about matters important to me and wanting people to say what they mean and mean what they say. 

If anything I simply gave some people too much credit because I couldn't get that closet optimist to shut up for anything... not even with duck tape.  The closet optimist in me holds the eternal flame of hope.  But I did realize at some point that I was projecting deeper qualities in certain people who were shallow pools with a reflective surface.  I think that a lot of us have an eternal flame of hope within ourselves and while that shouldn't be a problem... it often is, when what is hoped for is unobtainable.  To me that is the epitome of false hope and for me it is a black hole of nothingness.  Also during the eternal debates within myself when I let doubt about what I'm seeing creep in, it kept me from being able to take action that would have helped so much more.  Looking back I have a little better understanding of the grip the illusions and the emotions that held me firmly in place.  But my semi awareness is still only at a micro level and I'll keep nurturing it while it  continues to grow until it's time to go.  

It was seeing the manipulations between all types of people on my level that allowed me to understand the phrase "As above, so below," if only a tiny bit at first.  In fact, until I heard that phrase and explored the deeper meaning of it, I had hit the wall so to speak, when it came to understanding the whole point of existence and if we are all connected then why are some so tuned out?  Maybe we're all puppets in this little drama we call life.  If the same things that happen on a micro level also happen on a macro level... which makes sense to me because it describes projections of cycles within cycles within cycles... then the same manipulations must be going on in the universe above... to a point at least but if I had to guess I'd say it would be a much greater level.  In fact it was studying this type of material that finally answered... why.  Not all of it mind you because of my own limitations but enough to satisfy some of that eternal question to give me a little peace and even hope.  All there is, is lessons and we must learn them through and through.  Ask questions, do experiments and be prepared in everything you do.

Again this journey isn't about being right and I have been wrong on many things in my life.  I did say it has been an exercise in trial and error... repeat.  It's about understanding the many variables in any situation, the degrees in between wrong and right, intent, timing, action and the ability to balance between the two worlds... for starters.  Most of my life, I have rejected other peoples expectations in favor of living up to my own which was simply to be a better person than I was the day before.  Also I've never really considered myself lucky in any part of my life, but again I may have been wrong about that too.  There have been things I have done correctly but I am not sure that counts if it's done unknowingly... so that leans more toward luck.  I guess it depends on the rules of the universe... are we playing by APA rules in pool where slop counts or are we playing bar rules where we must call each shot?     

Most of the things that people sweep under the rug, I had a tendency to file it away along with everything else, in a small cabinet in my mind.  Over the years that cabinet grew into a closet and then finally into a file room.  I filed things by the yes, no, maybe and "what the hell do I do with that !?!" categories under the major tabs of life but wasn't married to that final placement because I figured out that as new things are uncovered, it could change everything.  It also helped to be skeptical about many things but I have always hesitated to put limits on the universe and when I did it showed me how wrong I was.  I'm sure I did enough of that by my own limitations but it wasn't my intention.  Anticipation itself is a form of limitation because it discounts all that could be and it is the one of the hardest things to let go of... in my opinion.  

I think the idea's I embraced earlier on in life such as understanding that nothing is free in this world, which caused me to not be swayed by offers of such, saved me a whole lot of trouble.  Although not impossible it is tough to con someone who isn't interested in whatever it is they're selling, especially if I can provide it myself and if not... then I'll gladly pay for the service.  I learned that pro action was better than reaction in most cases and tried to live with a purpose in life by setting goals for myself.  I still have knee jerk reactions from time to time or I provoke them and need to work on those too.  But there was a problem with focusing on pro action too much because when I'd get a plan together and start to gather the info and the materials to complete whatever it was, it was harder to pay attention to outside factors.  The more I completed, the more steam I felt like I was gathering to finish the projects... then if something happened... and something almost always happens... I'd get blindsided, then would have to pick myself up off the floor.  I learned from many of those experiences that you must sit with the pain and embrace it as it comes to be able to release it when the time comes.     

Also understanding death is a part of this world whether we like it or not helped me get a handle on some of my fears in life. Now that my worst fear has been realized, most of the rest seem so small and quite useless at this time in my life.  But as I write these jumbled thoughts I realize that's not completely true.  I still fear for humanity even though I am pulling for it to wake up to it's full potential.  I had inadvertently given way too much of my power over the years to dark side when I became silent about things that really mattered most or believed in lies and this is why I share my story with you.  Or maybe the better term would be lazy because I can't say I spent a lot of time researching much on spiritual matters... but I had thoughts on them which are useless without actions based on facts.  Being custom or original in a one size fits all world is a difficult but rewarding way of life in and of itself.  To me now life is the true religion and earth is our school.               

I've been thinking about the mind, body and soul connections more lately.  In my minds eye I can see our bodies were meant to be like generators, the soul is like the gas and once the mind is fired up like an engine, the three combined have the ability to generate electricity to power... anything.  But the rulers of this world have restricted the generators and now it seems that our bodies are more like cars.  Again the soul is the gas, the mind the engine but the abilities are limited in just going forward, backwards, right or left.  Useful in their own right but oh so limited in the long run.  Most everyone is limited in one way or another and the world is becoming more like a prison everyday. Paying attention to the real world as it truly is... is the most important thing you can do in overcoming your limitations.  I try to understand and work around, over and under my limitations but sometimes you just have to go through them.  And those are just the ones I know about... the ones I don't know of or understand are next on the list because I truly want to break free of the restrictions of this world... before moving on to the next one.                     

Quote by Gurdjieff,

“We must strive for freedom if we strive for self-knowledge. The task of self-knowledge and of further self-development is of such importance and seriousness, it demands such intensity of effort, that to attempt it any old way and amongst other things is impossible. The person who undertakes this task must put it first in his life, which is not so long that he can afford to squander it on trifles.”

Quotes from The Adventures with Cassiopaea,

We began to realize, slowly at first, that a person could have psychological issues, and still be oriented to service to others. They could also be oriented to serving self. By the same token, a person could appear to have no disabling psychological issues at all, and be completely oriented to serving the self. We began to learn that closing our ears to the words that other people use to beguile us, and observing only the actions was the key to discernment. LKJ

These terms, "Service to Others" and "Service to Self" are inextricably mixed up with the idea of "love." On an individual basis, we may say that we Love this or that person, and want to Serve them, but then the question arises: WHICH PART OF THEM are we serving? The higher part that seeks spiritual growth and Union with God, or the Lower part that seeks survival in the Flesh? When we help someone who keeps making the same mistakes over and over again, we are clearly interfering in their lessons. What, then, are we serving? Most likely ourselves because we are then able to "feel good" that we are so "long suffering" and "patient" and "self-sacrificing," because we can certainly see, from the evidence of our eyes, that the other person isn't making any progress by virtue of our efforts. And, it may be a far more difficult thing to deny assistance, to refuse association with them, particularly when it is someone we love, because it "hurts us to see them hurt." Yet, that may be the very thing needed in order for them to grow - to be left to their own suffering until they have had enough so that they will begin to see their own way out of the difficulty, thereby building soul strength and accessing their own powers and inner potentials. LJK

Monday, May 21, 2012

Suppression Equals Depression.

<<<<< Volume 1. Vol. 2.>>>>> 1. The Weirdness Within, 2. The Uncomfortable Consumer, 
3. Technology, Me and Programs, 4. When will we ever learn?, 5. Sex, drugs and smoking,
6. Suppression Equals Depression, 7. Practicing Awareness, 8. Long Distance Friendships During War, 9.  Away we go, 10. Children and Pit Bulls at Christmas, 11. The other side of the story...I & II, 12. The things that divide us, 13. Getting a plan together and a Garden, Click the links within the post to see the relevant stories, pictures or videos and thanks for stopping by!

Ever wonder why so many people are depressed?  I have experienced a low level depression most of my life and even tried a generic script for one of those many medicines offered, can't remember which one now but I was sick to my stomach for 7 days and then... that was enough of that.  My body told me very clearly that it wasn't having it.  But at least I knew some of why I was feeling the way I did.  I wasn't happy with myself, my life, my family, friends or the world on any particular day.  Most of you can relate to the endless frustrations that mount up... and sometimes that simmering anger has no where to go.  And no matter how hard we work or what we do, it just never seems enough to keep the lights burning sometimes.  Just surviving is a depressing way to live.  I think the better question is why aren't more people depressed about the state of their lives than has been reported? 

It's gotten harder to find ones place in this life much less a career that we are good at AND makes us content at the same time.  As we grow older our choices should have expanded somewhat but I found that they are shrinking in this day and age, whether we are aware of it or not.  And still I am one of the lucky ones because so many out there have so little to make it through the day, much less a week.  But as I've gone through life thinking it could be worse, it actually was in the end... at least for me.  I put off happiness and made do with what I had just like so many others today, too busy to see how fast their life was flying by  and everything becoming a blur.  Societies standards for beauty and behavior have corrupted our senses into believing we must conform to be accepted.  Business life has invaded our every moment and the demands never decrease.  Our own misguided idea's of what is right or perfect for us seems to conflict with what is expected of us.  Sometimes we spend too much time waiting for something to happen instead of going out and making it happen.  We have submitted to the daily grind knowing full well that we'll be ground down ever so slowly, even while denying it but progressing nonetheless.   

I know some of the reasons of depression because I have lived too many of them myself.  You are probably exhausted to the bone, full of useless information that we all accumulate like sponges.  You may even be trapped in a relationship with someone who simply may not be the right one for you or is a full on psychopath in which their job is to drain you of any and everything possible.  You may have a job that is beyond soul killing.  Least you have one... right?  You may find that the people you care for the most are the ones that disappoint you the fastest and leave you high and dry. You may have an obligation to take care of another like an aging parent or a special needs child who will be with you until the end.  Some of you are just moms or dads staying home to care for your kids and have little time for adult conversations much less any of the extras that are never ending in their own right.  Then the guilt we feel as a result of just trying to find a piece of ourselves is usually quick and suffocates much of the experience.  We don't stop worrying about our kids just because they are grown and more often we worry about so many others that are either gone such as military families or whether they will get hurt doing a job locally.  Some of you are dealing with addictions whether it's yours or another persons and the stigmas involved.  Many of you have lost ones you love too soon and some like me have had to endure the unimaginable by losing one of our own kids in one form or fashion.  Sometimes it all seems pointless to even get out of the bed depending on what you are struggling with but like many of you, I didn't have a choice in the matter either. 

During these everyday trials we stuff a little bit more of ourselves in a box for later but sometimes later never really comes.  Most of us with a conscience have felt that we were meant for something more in this life without ever putting our finger on just what that was supposed to be.  I think maybe our soul knows this and if we don't acknowledge it then it lets us know in what ever means it has available.  I know my depression started when I was young over how unnecessarily difficult every thing seemed to be and when I got older it was not being able to engage with the world as passionately as I had done in my youth.  I let too much of myself get put into that box and before I really knew what was happening... is was all gone.  For the ones who have turned to a church for a way to plug the hole that seems to get deeper by the day, you may find some solace within the bible but very few answers that hold real meaning in today's world.  Most of the people sitting with you are in the same position and are there for the many of the same reasons and while you may meet some really wonderful people, your soul still has not found what it is looking for or what it needs to complete this journey.  So very many of you are going to a therapist or worse a script happy doctor with a pocket full of free samples just so you can get a handle on the mountain of responsibilities you face or maybe the fact that you can't meet them.  

I am not saying that therapist and clergy are all bad, even though I am am not a fan of religion as I've posted before.  I do also understand that the chemical imbalances in the brain are thought to be the problem but still think there are reasons for the imbalances that are usually left unaddressed.  Don't doctors practice medicine?  Now too many are merely drug dealers.  Most people are having a hard time being honest with themselves about so very many things, so how will they ever get to the root of the problems whether it be emotional or physically related?  Honestly is severely lacking in our society and I also think the more we deny the truth about ourselves and the world, the more depressed we can become which lead to entropy.  And more importantly it can cause you to miss things that could save your life... or the lives of the ones you love.  Apparently things like environment, stress and diet have a tremendous effect on our bodies, mind and moodsEmotions have another large part in our lives and sometimes seem to rule over us like a tidal wave.  The programs we have running through our minds 24/7 causes us to do things that make us miserable that in turn causes the emotions to ride the roller coaster.  Each time we deny the real problems in life we put a piece of ourselves in the box.  And the more of yourself that you put into that box the less you'll have to work with when you come to life's cross roads or even everyday decisions.  It will be easier to miss those all important signs that indicate where you should be going.  Missed opportunities means more depression and the cycles goes on and on... until you take control of your life and your health.  It will not be easy and there is no magic anything that will bring joy to your life.  I'm sure you'd have heard about it by now if there was such a thing.

Working through life's problems is tough and looking, seeing, understanding and applying effort to one's self is a monumental task.  Not everyone will be up to it and if you are be prepared to lose friends or family when you start on the journey to get out of the deep depressive state.  Everybody's got opinions but few people have the facts.  That's up to you to research because each case is different and needs different approaches.  If we as souls came to this earth, we came looking to feel the sensations and emotions of everything life had to offer, yet we spend a lot of time trying to forget the things we don't like.  To me that sort of defeats the purpose of being here, which is to learn by feeling, thinking and doing... then repeat as necessary.  But don't be surprised if you still go through a bout of depression from time to time, while you are still trying to resolve issues within yourself, because for some it seems to be or can be a stepping stone to deeper understanding of the meanings of life.  Well to the people who are sincerely searching for something more anyway.  I know that sounds odd but to me it also makes sense.   It took me a long time to realize that a lot of people I knew were all to happy to live the illusion as if it were a fun ride at the carnival without a thought of anything deeper.  I learned that I had been looking for people who were aware of the underlying realities that we all live with and they were few and far between.  For me not being able to connect and express myself with people who truly understand was and sometimes still is depressing.  Not being able to express my creativity and pursue the things that interested me was also suppressing to my soul.        

I have denied myself the things that I needed the most and did it to keep the peace within the circles I was in.  I found that once you start down that road it is harder to change course the further you travel down it.  I sacrificed for the wrong people and it was evident long before Trey died.  I must point out the obvious but assholes don't seem to have a problem expressing themselves or taking what they want, when they want it.  So it must be said that...

This is truly important and must be dealt with first before moving on the journey to freedom from depression.  There is hope and if you are willing to work on you and your life you will find a way.  Considering I've had so few issues with health problems after my youth I am relatively lucky.  As a child I had strep throat and later after Trey was born right before the break up of my marriage I had the shingles at 19 years old... and found my first gray hair at 22.   Later again around the age of 32ish I had the weirdest thing happen when I was washing dishes.  It felt like a drain plug had been popped in my feet, where the energy just drained out of me, which caused a slight dizziness.  I had to sit, then lay down on the floor where, I suddenly got extremely hot and then finally start to sweat, which then let me cool down.  Although I've never had high blood pressure, in fact it falls on the low side, I'm not sure what the slight roaring in my ears were either.  It was over in less than 10 minutes but I still felt weak when I got up for a bit.  That happened one more time about a year or so later and then... that was that.  Never happened again and I've been trying to research if that was a panic attack or what.  Other than constant sinus trouble my biggest problems by far were my teeth which I've talked about before.  Not matter how much time, effort and money I poured into my mouth, it wasn't enough to save them and they started to fall out piece by piece.  I know drinking soda's didn't help, nor the junk food I ate, but the more I have been reading the more I'm understanding the connections to all the unresolved issues probably had an even bigger impact on the health of my teeth.

Sick and tired of being sick, tired and stressed out to the breaking point? Then this article written by Gabriela Segura MD will help you tremendously and naturally.

7. Practicing Awareness >>>>>

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Sex, drugs and smoking.

 <<<<< Volume 1. Vol. 2.>>>>> 1. The Weirdness Within, 2. The Uncomfortable Consumer, 
3. Technology, Me and Programs, 4. When will we ever learn?, 5. Sex, drugs and smoking,
6. Suppression Equals Depression, 7. Practicing Awareness, 8. Long Distance Friendships During War, 9.  Away we go, 10. Children and Pit Bulls at Christmas, 11. The other side of the story...I & II, 12. The things that divide us, 13. Getting a plan together and a Garden, Click the links within the post to see the relevant stories, pictures or videos and thanks for stopping by!

What do all these things have in common?  They all seems to be hotly debated among many, inside and outside of politics.  Birth control has come under threat... again so we'll continue providing fresh warm bodies for war and possibly worse.  Prescription drugs are killing more people than they help and smoking a plain old tobacco cigarette is being blamed for many of the world illsReally?  Read these articles again.  I thought we were trying to go forward but the tug of war goes on and on.  I'll admit when I was young, smoke stunk to high heaven but as I got older it became cool.  Then it was a way to calm my nerves and finally... I just like to smoke.  Recently I found out about a chemical free cigarette other than the roll your owns and the difference is night and day.  It almost reminds me of the stuff the old timers smoked and the flavored tobacco smells so divine.  I've had several conversations with non smokers and understand their concerns, especially about the smell.  They have a right to avoid smoke and I respect that.  There are solutions to this problem that are very effective but again it all boils down to cost and control.   I even had a little conversation with a newer internet acquaintance and when the conversation was over, they promptly deleted me.  

The conversation started over a link to a video I posted called Smoking Bans: Killing our job, our health and our freedoms.  I try hard not to debate people with deep rooted beliefs because it is the proverbial brick wall I keep talking about, but this one had made several comments on a few other posts about vegans verses meat eaters that let me know they didn't approve of that comparison either, right after they stated, "Yeah. I'm in the 'everything in moderation' camp."

Them:  I can't watch this on my Nook, but smoking bans are killing our HEALTH? 

Me:  Yes they are saying that the quit smoking drugs are way worse than smoking itself. And to be honest the gov does NOT really care about our health and the banning of smoking is another control factor. 

Them:  Then they're not destroying OUR health. They might be affecting the health of those people who CHOOSE to quit a horrible, unhealthy habit by using the drugs. 

Me:  The problem is the med's to quit have a side effect that either makes them suicidal which does not effect non smokers BUT if they become homicidal then I'd say yes they can destroy lives quite easily. It is so easy to go after the smokers than the big business polluters that cause more damage than all the smokers combined.

Them:  Then get the drugs taken off the market. Or make the side effects so well-known that people avoid them. Or do more to teach kids how truly AWFUL smoking is so fewer of them start and quitting drugs won't have a market. Smoking BANS are not the issue. As a non-smoker who was so tired of breathing in someone else's disgusting, unhealthy habit and stinking of it after being in a public place, I'm SO grateful for them. I wish there were more of them.

Me:  First I understand where you are coming from but I am a smoker. A considerate one at that and think big pharma is not going to pull any medication from the market... even it it kills thousands. As much as I agree with kids not smoking, I found it doesn't matter so much what we think... they will do what they want when they can. I think making so many things available but forbidden makes them so much harder to resist... no matter what age you are. Bans ARE the issue because it should be settled with the individual business and IF they gave smokers a properly ventilated place to smoke then it would be a non issue all the way around. If you start advocating the use of banning things you don't like or agree with then I wouldn't be surprised when the things you use starts to get banned eventually. Remember it is about dividing the masses and having them turn on one another... so we will not be paying attention to what the PTB are doing.

Them:  We're going to have to agree to disagree.

Me:  I can live with that. :)

Delete.  The end.  So much for tolerance.  I do wish them well and only use this as an example of the mindset.  But honestly to their last response I wanted to write... I don't particularly like intolerance and ignorance but I am not out there pushing for a ban on those... the world then might be a pretty empty place.  But I refrained and tried my best to use the little information I had retained to explain another view point.  I'm sure there are more well meaning but misinformed people out there that are married to their beliefs.  Be careful because it could cost you, your life.  As always I am not advocating you to smoke... just let me smoke in peace.  I really don't understand all these folks who want to live forever or at least a very long time.  To do so you have to give up many things that may be considered unhealthy... but for me quality is more important than quantity of life... and I've felt that way for a very long time.  But as it turns out, if smoking helps more than it harms then the jokes on me... again.  The following referers to Authoritative Followers who believe in what they hear and not what the see but illustrates the point so well.   

 From the book "When Prophecy Fails." Festinger observed:

A man with a conviction is a hard man to change. Tell him you disagree and he turns away. Show him facts or figures and he questions your sources. Appeal to logic and he fails to see your point.

We have all experienced the futility of trying to change a strong conviction, especially if the convinced person has some investment in h
is belief. We are familiar with the variety of ingenious defenses with which people protect their convictions, managing to keep them unscathed through the most devastating attacks.

But man's resourcefulness goes beyond simply protecting a belief. Suppose an individual believes something with his whole heart; suppose further that he has a commitment to this belief, that he has taken irrevocable actions because of it; finally, suppose that he is presented with evidence, unequivocal and undeniable evidence, that his belief is wrong: what will happen? The individual will frequently emerge, not only unshaken, but even more convinced of the truth of his beliefs than ever before. Indeed, he may even show a new fervor about convincing and converting other people to his view.

It seems that part of the problem has to do with ego and the need to be "right." People with a high "need to be right" or "perfect" seem to be unable to acknowledge that they have been conned. "There is no crime in the cynical American calendar more humiliating than to be a sucker." People will go along with and support a psychopath, in the face of evidence that they have and ARE being conned, because their own ego structure depends on being right, and to admit an error of judgment would destroy their carefully constructed image of themselves.

Even more amazing is the fact that when psychopaths do get exposed by someone who is not afraid to admit that they have been conned, the psychopath is a master at painting their victims as the "real culprits." Hare cites a case of the third wife of a forty year old high school teacher:

Drug companies want us to use their scripts to quit smoking and now it seem like they'd rather sell us prenatal vitamins than birth control.  Why are the republicans, religious right and the drug companies so interested in what we as women do with our bodiesHave we already gone too far?  This author of Thoughts of the Feminist Movement: Why I don't clap along, writes so eloquently and echo's how I feel about the ideas society sells us as being free.  Here is a chart that shows who has made the most comments on women's issues, and will you be surprised at the results?   I have and will always advocate for choice when it comes to issues like abortion, adoption, orientation, birth control and any other decision that involves a commitment.  Why?  I think it's being responsible that counts the most when weighing all the available facts around you... even if it's a little late... better late than never.  Mistakes happen and I live in the real world were sex is pushed in every direction and some men are not fathers in any reality.  People are different, situations are different, available options are different and most importantly... if you don't have a support system that can help you then it will have an effect on the decisions you have to make.  It's easy for others to judge you without ever walking a mile in your shoes but do not let that detract you from doing what's right for you and those you care for... whatever that choice may be.  And these doctors who feel as if they can play God have absolutely no clue either, so I can't waste any more time on them.  Also if you're aware of the amount of pharmaceuticals that are routinely flushed into the toilets and the fluoridation already present in our drinking water, just how can any doctor tell us what is wrong with us, much less how to fix it?  I guess we should be thankful that our water is a bit cleaner than other parts of the world

So with all of this, how can anyone still think the people who really run this world... care about the rest of us in any form what so ever?  Why do so many still continue to follow bad advice with out doing any serious research on whatever problem they have?  And most importantly have folks given up on working together to solve a problem instead of just banning things that don't suit them?  Why does everyone want to be different but they can't live with the differences themselves?  I guess it is easier than taking on issues like the corruption of our food, schools, wall street, war in the middle east or the one right here at home.  You know the one... the war for our every freedom and rights as a human being.  The more things are banned the more products for the black markets to flourish.  Prohibition didn't work then and it will not work now.  As for the women out there I guess our last option is to stop having relations completely until there are some serious changes brought about... especially if you can't have a smoke afterward ;)

But I just may be preaching to the choir so to speak because most of the people who have traveled this journey with me so far are the ones who are not afraid to think about things objectively.  Each positive message I've received has been the motivation to continue and I just want to thank you for hanging out with me for a bit.  If anyone has any question or comments please send me an email and know I welcome your input, experiences or recommendations.                           

6.  Suppression Equals Depression >>>>>