1. Home to Contradictions, 2. Six Degrees from Home, 3. Welcome Back to My Therapy,
4. Lying, Cheating, Stealing and Intent, 5. Power of You, 6. One Split Second,
7. Marvelous Mistakes, 8. I made a choice to make a change, 9. Connections to the Farm,
10. Back to the Farm, 11. It's a small world after all, 12 Fair Weather Friends,
13. Ghost of Roommates Past, 14. You can never go to far, 15. Glamorous Life,
16. Double Standards, 17. Lazy? No Exhausted, 18. Crossroads of Life and Death, 19. One Last Time, 20. When Worlds Collide I, 21. When Worlds Collide II, 22. When Worlds Collide III 23. The Unwanted New World, 24. Means the Old World Must Go, 25. So Where was God in all this? 26. Where did you get that from?, 27. The Reason for My Season, 28. Was Always a Little Rascal, 29. Pictures and Quotes of the Little Rascal and final chapter 30. Closing in Contradictions. ~Use these links to read in order (some chapters have songs, new added content, pictures or all:) Volume 2 >>>>>
We've come so far in a short amount of time and this will be the last of the introductions to the people who have been in my life, even if only for a short while, before the day that changed everything. I have been trying to separate the facts from fiction in my memories and struggle to find a way to describe my relationship between Mom, Trey and me. I 'd like to include dad but even though my dad's body was present his mind was slowly slipping away and he spent much of his time in the tool shed out back. The early summer was pretty unremarkable but things started happening full speed ahead toward the end. Ariel and Scott had started dating again and she really thought he was the one for her. Her mama was deteriorating pretty quickly from the cancer and she was in fear of being laid off from her job. Janet, Ariel and I would meet up at the Old Folks Bar still and it was around this time that Janet found a really great guy. I however needed to have my teeth pulled and was having a hard time finding a dentist that would oblige because they wanted to save them. We had tried that repeatedly and it wasn't working so that last 3 day weekend when I had pain so bad on a Friday afternoon, I was knee walking the house. My mom had come by the house that day and once she realized the severity of the situation she felt helpless. For the entire weekend I couldn't eat, sleep, work or anything for that matter. I can tolerate a good deal of pain but that pushed me right to the edge. I finally went back to an old dentist mom and Trey used and he agreed to help me and then the long process began.
My neighbor Daisy and I were talking a lot more then and were really becoming as close as we could given the time and conditions. Since she had been living almost next door for so long I now knew that she did indeed work very hard and took care of many people too. She made the same mistake I did in trusting Bonnie so we had more in common than I thought. She was an excellent baker and could bake sweets that would make your mouth water just from the smell alone. Over the years she had adopted an open door policy at the holidays for anyone who wanted a meal and we did too over at my house. You just never knew who would show up to these things until they were there. Over the years we looked after each others places if we were going to be out of town and it was nice to be able to rely on someone dependable for a change. Funny how my first impressions were wrong. In my experience anybody could get anything, but it was a measure of the person as to whether they could keep it or not. That speaks volumes about a persons character at least with me. And let me tell you she was not afraid of very much and if she needed to she would bounce people out of that bar if they needed it in a skinny minute. She had finally made manager of the bar and things looked like they were looking up.
I only saw Trey a few times while he was at his dad's * because they worked out of town and were only home on the weekends. My ex was pretty strict with his time but the few times I did get to see him, he was different, quieter, thinner and his nails were bit down to the quick. I kept asking him what was wrong but he didn't want to talk about it and I can only guess he was trying to find a way to either handle it or get out of it. Then later I got a phone call from mom telling me that she was on her way, to pick him up from a friends house near his dad. Trey had run out on his dad and decided that was it... he was not going back. Mom picked him up and called my ex who was mad to say the least and refused to give Trey anything that belonged to him. Most of it mom and I had paid for but that made no difference to his father. That's when they came to my house and I saw the bruises on his chest and heard the story he had to tell. Well at least the highlights because I think Trey knew if I knew the whole story then I would bust hell wide open to make it right. That's when we called the police because we knew my ex was not going to give the kid back, his stuff. We filed the report took the pictures and then they went home to moms where he slept for days and eat like he hadn't had a meal in weeks. My ex tried to use the old agreement papers to retain custody and when that didn't work he then went to see a attorney or called one rather. Okay... if that's how he wanted to play it then... I know of a few really good ones so that's what we did. No not the famous one, we needed another family attorney. Mom and I split the $1000 cost for the retainer and then he went to work. Mean while we had to go out and buy him some clothes because the kid didn't have anything when he left.
You see, my ex didn't like it that Trey smoked pot and I don't think mom helped matters by talking about it to my ex. It's not that he didn't have a right to know, it's the fact he didn't have the ability to make good judgements where Trey's well being was concerned. He had proven it time and time again by waltzing in an out of his life when I asked him to make a choice... in or out? He proved it by taking Trey when he was younger and by avoiding paying child support as long as he could. He also proved, when he kept Trey's stuff that he really was a selfish man who didn't remember what he was doing at that age or how he felt when his dad did those things to him. Now I knew for sure that my ex was turning out just like dad. I have said that I knew Trey smoked and rather than being a hypocrite I accepted it for what it was and knew given time he would grow up. The absolute saddest part for me is that I know Trey just wanted his dad to love him and be a dad. Something my ex was not prepared to do at least not with him. I can only hope his new child is a different story for her sake.
Here is where I screw up big time. You know I haven't had the easiest of life and so I have sympathy for people who are down on their luck, even if it is the worst choice personally. Around the time when the police cars showed up at my house for Trey, Daisy's brothers were back in town and saw what was going on. Rosco was very concerned when he heard the story and offered his help. Knowing his story through his sister, I was well briefed on his craziness and told him as a last resort we would give him a call if I needed him. Well the attorney had gotten through to my ex and we were told we could come and pick up Trey's stuff from the house. Anyone but me at least so I asked Ariel to go with mom and Rosco volunteered to go as well. I rode with them as far as the corner bar where they dropped me off to wait until it was finished and my ex video taped the whole thing acting like he had a handle on the situation as usual. They were finished pretty quickly and nobody got hurt.
Rosco was pumped and he talked a mile a minute on the way home. He had great plans for everything and all he needed was a little time. He came back to town to help his sister out and back home their mom wasn't doing to well either. But no fear he was here to save the day! Over the next few months he talked about doing everything but actually did very little while he was there and things were again getting tense at his sisters. He had talked to me to let me know he was interested but I told him I'm not interested in whatever he was looking for. But he didn't hear me or want to hear as many in my life don't and then began the hard sell. He needed a place to live because it wasn't working with his sister and I told him he could stay. Mean while he tells me one thing and then tell his sister a whole other story as guys like him do. He was always at one of our houses so we never had a chance to talk to each other without him trying to change the story or cover up a flat out lie. I mean he did show up with a duffle bag and not much else. He had dreams too but wanted me to believe in him and I just could not do it but I humored him because it was easier. He always had to put on a big show just like Marvelous but he had no clue I was as burnt out on that as I was of my job at the time. I would listen to him as he was wheeling and dealing and it was pure fantasy most of the time.
Ariel got some tickets to the Rascal Flats concert shortly after that event for Trey and I with two of her friends going as well. It was the first time Trey and I had been to a concert together. Well I took a shot of tequila after I had already finished my drink and it was too much so I got sick as usual and ended up going home early, while Trey hung out with Ariel's friends and had a really good time. That's when I decided that it was about time to give up on drinking because I wasn't ever going to get better at it no matter how much I practiced. I am a smoker and that's what I should stick to. The sad part was that Trey was drinking a little that night too and he out drank me without so much as a hiccup. At the very least I could use this as an example of quitting when you are in over you head. Even as a stress reliever drinking was not working and I really was getting tired of it and hanging out in bars even. There were so many other things that needed to be done...
Well the holiday's were soon upon us again and that's when Trey saw Rosco again and because he had gone with him to get his stuff from his dad's, Trey thought he was so cool. He listened to all his stories but because he had little experience he couldn't tell that they were mostly made up. That Thanksgiving though we had a lot of fun and Trey went over to Daisy's and played like he was starving so he could get another plate of food and they all sat over there and watched the game. Things were starting to return to normal... well sort of. Mom and I shopped for Trey Christmas presents that year at the mall. I hate the mall but Trey really wanted cool t shirts and jeans from one of the trendy stores there and so we went. Between the two of us we spent close to $750 on new clothes, the red hoodie and shoes because many of his good ones didn't make it home as well as several of his small electronics. Humph! Turns out my ex was not so forthcoming when it was time to return his sons stuff and helped himself to what ever he wanted. A grown man acting like a child made me all the more thankful I had left him when I did. But Trey was getting angrier by the day. The more he thought about what happened there the more it festered into a slow boil. My sweet, dopey, sometimes mouthy, space cadet of a son even on a bad day held the internal hope of everybody getting along... was now mad, hurt and had no idea which way to turn.
You see when 5 different people are telling you 5 completely different things and only one is telling the truth... then it is hard to know which one is lying if you have no experience with life or liars. And if you are getting 5 stories that are even remotely similar then just how is a 17 year old to know who is telling him the truth, especially about the most critical details? I can only hope that despite my mistakes over the years, I had still proven to be an open person to him but he was still too close to it, so it was hard for him to see. Christmas was tough because Trey did go over to his dad's house and came home hurt because they didn't get him anything... at all and never mind returning anything that was his either. It was like the ultimate insult and my poor baby just wasn't ready. By New Years Eve we all needed a little time off to blow off some steam and so Trey went out with his friends and I went out with mine. All of us from the group save for Daisy because she was working, went to the Country bar. Big night, big time and big mouths all come together that night. Scott and Ariel with me and Rosco and a few other of Ariel's and Scott's friends.
That night while out with my friends I made the decision I was done with my job as a PI and I was going to turn in my equipment the next day. I just could not get back in that car and deal with that life any more, because it was costing me too much. I had reached my breaking point and knew it was now or never even though I had no clue what I was going to do. While I would have liked Rosco to have been helpful to both Daisy and I, it was not going to be. I needed time to think and be alone and that was hard to come by because he had invaded my space and was causing turmoil every time I turned around. The fragile friendship I had with Daisy was disintegrating and it was all my fault for letting Rosco stay at the house with me. She needed even more help with things than I did but Rosco doesn't really ever help anybody in the long run. He's like a slow moving hurricane that leaves a path of destruction a mile wide. I had made a decision that I had to do something about him too but how do I get out of this? Somewhere around this time Ariel and I went to the Biltmore House both for the first time and it was snowing. At some point we got an ice cream and ate it outside and she was in shorts! I was freezing most of the time hanging out with her and then she would ask me why my hands were so cold. :) Hmmm let me think!
I saw Trey a couple of more times after I quit my job and first was when I took him to try out for his license about this time... I think. I have to locate said license and that might be a minute. That day we practiced his three point turn in the parking lot after paying his insurance. He did pretty good considering he wasn't used to my car. We got to the DMV, sat there while waiting to be seen, taking the test and get out to my car. The inspector says I have to fix something? on my car. We leave and race to the nearest place, get it checked out and fixed in time to race back, wait and he barely made the driving cut off time. He takes off with the the inspector and he fails his test. Poor kid looked just defeated but perked up when I said we could stop by Sonic on the way back to moms. I wish I could remember what we were talking about... Most likely nothing important just the everyday happens of life. As a parent asks what, where, when, who and how much? A teenager is answering in varying degrees of the truth with youthful exuberance. Mom took him back about a week or so later and he finally got his license. Later he and mom stopped by so he could take some pictures for photography class. He took pictures of stuff and trying for some cool effects but the end results were... a little off. Kind of like us. To this day I regret not taking more pictures of him when he got older, but having a camera in my hand at work made me not even think about it after I got home sometimes.
About the last week of February was the last time I saw his sweet face full of life. I had to go down to moms because he was throwing a fit because they had been arguing about something? Trey was still dealing with his dad's rejection, pressure at school and home. Things were coming to a head that evening and when I went and talked to him he didn't want to listen to me either. I was getting aggravated by the whole situation at that point and felt like I was just as in the middle as he was. But he did ask me for a ride to the store and I took him to get a pack of smokes. I am pretty sure he was high off something other than pot though. I got pissed and reamed him a new one. I asked him where he was getting it and he told me but I didn't believe him. I am sure he was covering for someone else. When we pulled up to the store he looked at me and asked for some money which I replied... "You gotta be kidding right? You ain't got any money? I might be okay with you smoking but I am not going to pay for it... habits are expensive so welcome to the real world." Then took him back home. I'm pretty sure I told him I loved him as was my habit but I don't think he was feeling it that night. He did call a few days later though and ask me if I would get him a car to which I asked "I don't know are you getting a job?" I loved to give him a hard time to make him squirm a little bit. The old Honda was wore out and needed a little love but I planned on giving it to him for graduation. No matter what it took I was going to find a way out of this mess and make sure he had a good ride because he would be free soon. I just didn't know how free that would be... and we are getting to the Heart of the Matter.
At some point during this year I saw on the news where a couple of brothers had lost their lives on a road I traveled frequently when I first started as a PI. They were traveling in a large SUV and lost control and just like that they were gone. By the end of the news cast I was in tears because I tried to put myself in their shoes by imagining what that life would have been like for us. My heart hurt for the boys, the parents and everyone that loved and cared for them. And I thanked God Trey was still okay and thought that since I had been spared so much over the years that he would be too. But the universe has a way of it's own. Shortly after seeing this news report my friend Scott and I were talking about things and he asked me out of the blue what was my worst fear and I said to him "That something would happen to Trey... "
20. When Worlds Collide I >>>>>
4. Lying, Cheating, Stealing and Intent, 5. Power of You, 6. One Split Second,
7. Marvelous Mistakes, 8. I made a choice to make a change, 9. Connections to the Farm,
10. Back to the Farm, 11. It's a small world after all, 12 Fair Weather Friends,
13. Ghost of Roommates Past, 14. You can never go to far, 15. Glamorous Life,
16. Double Standards, 17. Lazy? No Exhausted, 18. Crossroads of Life and Death, 19. One Last Time, 20. When Worlds Collide I, 21. When Worlds Collide II, 22. When Worlds Collide III 23. The Unwanted New World, 24. Means the Old World Must Go, 25. So Where was God in all this? 26. Where did you get that from?, 27. The Reason for My Season, 28. Was Always a Little Rascal, 29. Pictures and Quotes of the Little Rascal and final chapter 30. Closing in Contradictions. ~Use these links to read in order (some chapters have songs, new added content, pictures or all:) Volume 2 >>>>>
We've come so far in a short amount of time and this will be the last of the introductions to the people who have been in my life, even if only for a short while, before the day that changed everything. I have been trying to separate the facts from fiction in my memories and struggle to find a way to describe my relationship between Mom, Trey and me. I 'd like to include dad but even though my dad's body was present his mind was slowly slipping away and he spent much of his time in the tool shed out back. The early summer was pretty unremarkable but things started happening full speed ahead toward the end. Ariel and Scott had started dating again and she really thought he was the one for her. Her mama was deteriorating pretty quickly from the cancer and she was in fear of being laid off from her job. Janet, Ariel and I would meet up at the Old Folks Bar still and it was around this time that Janet found a really great guy. I however needed to have my teeth pulled and was having a hard time finding a dentist that would oblige because they wanted to save them. We had tried that repeatedly and it wasn't working so that last 3 day weekend when I had pain so bad on a Friday afternoon, I was knee walking the house. My mom had come by the house that day and once she realized the severity of the situation she felt helpless. For the entire weekend I couldn't eat, sleep, work or anything for that matter. I can tolerate a good deal of pain but that pushed me right to the edge. I finally went back to an old dentist mom and Trey used and he agreed to help me and then the long process began.
My neighbor Daisy and I were talking a lot more then and were really becoming as close as we could given the time and conditions. Since she had been living almost next door for so long I now knew that she did indeed work very hard and took care of many people too. She made the same mistake I did in trusting Bonnie so we had more in common than I thought. She was an excellent baker and could bake sweets that would make your mouth water just from the smell alone. Over the years she had adopted an open door policy at the holidays for anyone who wanted a meal and we did too over at my house. You just never knew who would show up to these things until they were there. Over the years we looked after each others places if we were going to be out of town and it was nice to be able to rely on someone dependable for a change. Funny how my first impressions were wrong. In my experience anybody could get anything, but it was a measure of the person as to whether they could keep it or not. That speaks volumes about a persons character at least with me. And let me tell you she was not afraid of very much and if she needed to she would bounce people out of that bar if they needed it in a skinny minute. She had finally made manager of the bar and things looked like they were looking up.
I only saw Trey a few times while he was at his dad's * because they worked out of town and were only home on the weekends. My ex was pretty strict with his time but the few times I did get to see him, he was different, quieter, thinner and his nails were bit down to the quick. I kept asking him what was wrong but he didn't want to talk about it and I can only guess he was trying to find a way to either handle it or get out of it. Then later I got a phone call from mom telling me that she was on her way, to pick him up from a friends house near his dad. Trey had run out on his dad and decided that was it... he was not going back. Mom picked him up and called my ex who was mad to say the least and refused to give Trey anything that belonged to him. Most of it mom and I had paid for but that made no difference to his father. That's when they came to my house and I saw the bruises on his chest and heard the story he had to tell. Well at least the highlights because I think Trey knew if I knew the whole story then I would bust hell wide open to make it right. That's when we called the police because we knew my ex was not going to give the kid back, his stuff. We filed the report took the pictures and then they went home to moms where he slept for days and eat like he hadn't had a meal in weeks. My ex tried to use the old agreement papers to retain custody and when that didn't work he then went to see a attorney or called one rather. Okay... if that's how he wanted to play it then... I know of a few really good ones so that's what we did. No not the famous one, we needed another family attorney. Mom and I split the $1000 cost for the retainer and then he went to work. Mean while we had to go out and buy him some clothes because the kid didn't have anything when he left.
You see, my ex didn't like it that Trey smoked pot and I don't think mom helped matters by talking about it to my ex. It's not that he didn't have a right to know, it's the fact he didn't have the ability to make good judgements where Trey's well being was concerned. He had proven it time and time again by waltzing in an out of his life when I asked him to make a choice... in or out? He proved it by taking Trey when he was younger and by avoiding paying child support as long as he could. He also proved, when he kept Trey's stuff that he really was a selfish man who didn't remember what he was doing at that age or how he felt when his dad did those things to him. Now I knew for sure that my ex was turning out just like dad. I have said that I knew Trey smoked and rather than being a hypocrite I accepted it for what it was and knew given time he would grow up. The absolute saddest part for me is that I know Trey just wanted his dad to love him and be a dad. Something my ex was not prepared to do at least not with him. I can only hope his new child is a different story for her sake.
Here is where I screw up big time. You know I haven't had the easiest of life and so I have sympathy for people who are down on their luck, even if it is the worst choice personally. Around the time when the police cars showed up at my house for Trey, Daisy's brothers were back in town and saw what was going on. Rosco was very concerned when he heard the story and offered his help. Knowing his story through his sister, I was well briefed on his craziness and told him as a last resort we would give him a call if I needed him. Well the attorney had gotten through to my ex and we were told we could come and pick up Trey's stuff from the house. Anyone but me at least so I asked Ariel to go with mom and Rosco volunteered to go as well. I rode with them as far as the corner bar where they dropped me off to wait until it was finished and my ex video taped the whole thing acting like he had a handle on the situation as usual. They were finished pretty quickly and nobody got hurt.
Rosco was pumped and he talked a mile a minute on the way home. He had great plans for everything and all he needed was a little time. He came back to town to help his sister out and back home their mom wasn't doing to well either. But no fear he was here to save the day! Over the next few months he talked about doing everything but actually did very little while he was there and things were again getting tense at his sisters. He had talked to me to let me know he was interested but I told him I'm not interested in whatever he was looking for. But he didn't hear me or want to hear as many in my life don't and then began the hard sell. He needed a place to live because it wasn't working with his sister and I told him he could stay. Mean while he tells me one thing and then tell his sister a whole other story as guys like him do. He was always at one of our houses so we never had a chance to talk to each other without him trying to change the story or cover up a flat out lie. I mean he did show up with a duffle bag and not much else. He had dreams too but wanted me to believe in him and I just could not do it but I humored him because it was easier. He always had to put on a big show just like Marvelous but he had no clue I was as burnt out on that as I was of my job at the time. I would listen to him as he was wheeling and dealing and it was pure fantasy most of the time.
Ariel got some tickets to the Rascal Flats concert shortly after that event for Trey and I with two of her friends going as well. It was the first time Trey and I had been to a concert together. Well I took a shot of tequila after I had already finished my drink and it was too much so I got sick as usual and ended up going home early, while Trey hung out with Ariel's friends and had a really good time. That's when I decided that it was about time to give up on drinking because I wasn't ever going to get better at it no matter how much I practiced. I am a smoker and that's what I should stick to. The sad part was that Trey was drinking a little that night too and he out drank me without so much as a hiccup. At the very least I could use this as an example of quitting when you are in over you head. Even as a stress reliever drinking was not working and I really was getting tired of it and hanging out in bars even. There were so many other things that needed to be done...
Well the holiday's were soon upon us again and that's when Trey saw Rosco again and because he had gone with him to get his stuff from his dad's, Trey thought he was so cool. He listened to all his stories but because he had little experience he couldn't tell that they were mostly made up. That Thanksgiving though we had a lot of fun and Trey went over to Daisy's and played like he was starving so he could get another plate of food and they all sat over there and watched the game. Things were starting to return to normal... well sort of. Mom and I shopped for Trey Christmas presents that year at the mall. I hate the mall but Trey really wanted cool t shirts and jeans from one of the trendy stores there and so we went. Between the two of us we spent close to $750 on new clothes, the red hoodie and shoes because many of his good ones didn't make it home as well as several of his small electronics. Humph! Turns out my ex was not so forthcoming when it was time to return his sons stuff and helped himself to what ever he wanted. A grown man acting like a child made me all the more thankful I had left him when I did. But Trey was getting angrier by the day. The more he thought about what happened there the more it festered into a slow boil. My sweet, dopey, sometimes mouthy, space cadet of a son even on a bad day held the internal hope of everybody getting along... was now mad, hurt and had no idea which way to turn.
You see when 5 different people are telling you 5 completely different things and only one is telling the truth... then it is hard to know which one is lying if you have no experience with life or liars. And if you are getting 5 stories that are even remotely similar then just how is a 17 year old to know who is telling him the truth, especially about the most critical details? I can only hope that despite my mistakes over the years, I had still proven to be an open person to him but he was still too close to it, so it was hard for him to see. Christmas was tough because Trey did go over to his dad's house and came home hurt because they didn't get him anything... at all and never mind returning anything that was his either. It was like the ultimate insult and my poor baby just wasn't ready. By New Years Eve we all needed a little time off to blow off some steam and so Trey went out with his friends and I went out with mine. All of us from the group save for Daisy because she was working, went to the Country bar. Big night, big time and big mouths all come together that night. Scott and Ariel with me and Rosco and a few other of Ariel's and Scott's friends.
That night while out with my friends I made the decision I was done with my job as a PI and I was going to turn in my equipment the next day. I just could not get back in that car and deal with that life any more, because it was costing me too much. I had reached my breaking point and knew it was now or never even though I had no clue what I was going to do. While I would have liked Rosco to have been helpful to both Daisy and I, it was not going to be. I needed time to think and be alone and that was hard to come by because he had invaded my space and was causing turmoil every time I turned around. The fragile friendship I had with Daisy was disintegrating and it was all my fault for letting Rosco stay at the house with me. She needed even more help with things than I did but Rosco doesn't really ever help anybody in the long run. He's like a slow moving hurricane that leaves a path of destruction a mile wide. I had made a decision that I had to do something about him too but how do I get out of this? Somewhere around this time Ariel and I went to the Biltmore House both for the first time and it was snowing. At some point we got an ice cream and ate it outside and she was in shorts! I was freezing most of the time hanging out with her and then she would ask me why my hands were so cold. :) Hmmm let me think!
I saw Trey a couple of more times after I quit my job and first was when I took him to try out for his license about this time... I think. I have to locate said license and that might be a minute. That day we practiced his three point turn in the parking lot after paying his insurance. He did pretty good considering he wasn't used to my car. We got to the DMV, sat there while waiting to be seen, taking the test and get out to my car. The inspector says I have to fix something? on my car. We leave and race to the nearest place, get it checked out and fixed in time to race back, wait and he barely made the driving cut off time. He takes off with the the inspector and he fails his test. Poor kid looked just defeated but perked up when I said we could stop by Sonic on the way back to moms. I wish I could remember what we were talking about... Most likely nothing important just the everyday happens of life. As a parent asks what, where, when, who and how much? A teenager is answering in varying degrees of the truth with youthful exuberance. Mom took him back about a week or so later and he finally got his license. Later he and mom stopped by so he could take some pictures for photography class. He took pictures of stuff and trying for some cool effects but the end results were... a little off. Kind of like us. To this day I regret not taking more pictures of him when he got older, but having a camera in my hand at work made me not even think about it after I got home sometimes.
About the last week of February was the last time I saw his sweet face full of life. I had to go down to moms because he was throwing a fit because they had been arguing about something? Trey was still dealing with his dad's rejection, pressure at school and home. Things were coming to a head that evening and when I went and talked to him he didn't want to listen to me either. I was getting aggravated by the whole situation at that point and felt like I was just as in the middle as he was. But he did ask me for a ride to the store and I took him to get a pack of smokes. I am pretty sure he was high off something other than pot though. I got pissed and reamed him a new one. I asked him where he was getting it and he told me but I didn't believe him. I am sure he was covering for someone else. When we pulled up to the store he looked at me and asked for some money which I replied... "You gotta be kidding right? You ain't got any money? I might be okay with you smoking but I am not going to pay for it... habits are expensive so welcome to the real world." Then took him back home. I'm pretty sure I told him I loved him as was my habit but I don't think he was feeling it that night. He did call a few days later though and ask me if I would get him a car to which I asked "I don't know are you getting a job?" I loved to give him a hard time to make him squirm a little bit. The old Honda was wore out and needed a little love but I planned on giving it to him for graduation. No matter what it took I was going to find a way out of this mess and make sure he had a good ride because he would be free soon. I just didn't know how free that would be... and we are getting to the Heart of the Matter.
At some point during this year I saw on the news where a couple of brothers had lost their lives on a road I traveled frequently when I first started as a PI. They were traveling in a large SUV and lost control and just like that they were gone. By the end of the news cast I was in tears because I tried to put myself in their shoes by imagining what that life would have been like for us. My heart hurt for the boys, the parents and everyone that loved and cared for them. And I thanked God Trey was still okay and thought that since I had been spared so much over the years that he would be too. But the universe has a way of it's own. Shortly after seeing this news report my friend Scott and I were talking about things and he asked me out of the blue what was my worst fear and I said to him "That something would happen to Trey... "
20. When Worlds Collide I >>>>>
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