1. Home to Contradictions, 2. Six Degrees from Home, 3. Welcome Back to My Therapy,
4. Lying, Cheating, Stealing and Intent, 5. Power of You, 6. One Split Second,
7. Marvelous Mistakes, 8. I made a choice to make a change, 9. Connections to the Farm,
10. Back to the Farm, 11. It's a small world after all, 12 Fair Weather Friends,
13. Ghost of Roommates Past, 14. You can never go to far, 15. Glamorous Life,
16. Double Standards, 17. Lazy? No Exhausted, 18. Crossroads of Life and Death, 19. One Last Time, 20. When Worlds Collide I, 21. When Worlds Collide II, 22. When Worlds Collide III 23. The Unwanted New World, 24. Means the Old World Must Go, 25. So Where was God in all this? 26. Where did you get that from?, 27. The Reason for My Season, 28. Was Always a Little Rascal, 29. Pictures and Quotes of the Little Rascal and final chapter 30. Closing in Contradictions. ~Use these links to read in order (some chapters have songs, new added content, pictures or all:) Volume 2 >>>>>
After working at the bar and the paper for a couple of months the schedule got tight because the hours kept changing for both jobs. I had gotten the chance to get the job at the paper because one of the managers came through the drive thru window at McDonald's where I had worked on a regular basis and told me to come in for an interview. She was a kind lady but I only got to work for her for a few months before they moved me to another managers team because she transferred to another department. The new manager at work was not a pleasant person and after several months of her odd rants or complete meltdowns in the sales office floor, I was quickly tiring of the constant drama, low pay and the unwillingness to work with me on hours to get to the 2nd job on time. I had determined that I made more money in two nights of waiting tables than a week at the paper. I'll admit that I was sleep deprived and on my break one afternoon I closed my eyes while in the break room. The new manager came in and had a few words to say about it, to which I rolled my eyes. I was fired but I was glad to get out of there. Jeez enough was enough. I heard later that she was (in)voluntarily committed for a bit and thought why can't they catch these folks before I lose my job. It did let me work full time at the bar and pool room which was more my schedule because I like being up at night. Let's face it... it was much more fun too.
I liked most of the customers in the bar, they were fun people and I had been going there off and on for over three years even though I wasn't old enough to drink at first. I started to work there shorty after my 21st birthday. Shooting pool was fun but I was far from good so I would practice some if we were not busy. We had regular bar flies that came in at 5 pm and stayed til closing and then we had the weekenders. We even had our own off duty police officers that would help break up fights where pool sticks are involved and I was thankful for that. No need going to the hospital if you don't have too! For a while it really was a happening place and then there was a guy (isn't there always?) who came in pretty regularly by himself, just after work and played on the tables alone. I noticed a bit slowly mind you that he wouldn't order anything from the other waitress on duty, but only from me. He too was from Kansas and was a nice looking dude with pretty blue eyes, long and lanky... again not my type but that was the point! He too was a quiet guy but he did start talking to me a little and I thought he was sweet but didn't think he really was interested in me.
In Comfortably Single I wrote that you have to be pretty direct with me because I don't assume anything and being direct is the way to get my attention. In real life his mama named him after her favorite folk song artist of the region and he kind of looked like him when the artist was younger but again we'll call him Willie. On the weekends he started hanging at the bar until closing and several of us customer and employees would stay behind after closing and talk in the parking lot. After a few weeks it became clear that he did indeed like me and one night we got caught walking in the rain which was pretty fun too. I must say I was flattered and thrilled because he really seemed like he could carry on a conversation, had a clue, a job and his own place to live. What more could I ask for right? I should also mention that I met Scott my long time friend and roommate today around this time. He was one of the regulars and knew both me and Willy and Willy's nutty but sweet friend Michael who was always Walking in Memphis on his way to Graceland. We even shot pool on the same league team for a session. And to round things out then I met a girl who was petite and looked very young for her age. I carded her in the bar and saw she was 5 years older than me and was floored. We started talking and hit it off too. She and her boyfriend were regulars a bit and we'll call them, Bonnie and Clyde, but Bonnie deserves her own chapter and so shall it be.
I could have used a little more time but I was out of that and needed a place to live when mom threw me out again so Willie let me move in with him. It was great because it was so close to the bar that I could walk when my RX-7 wouldn't start and that happened regularly until it quit completely and I got the Grand Am. He introduced me to his ex girlfriend because they remained friends and she started dating someone I knew back when I was married. Weird but true. Another weird fact is Willie had dated a black girl from the school I went to in Union County. She was a beautiful girl so I could see why but it was this girls cousin who was a friend of mine in school. This poor guy had come to my house once and my father opened the door and scared the snot out of him because he was black... and that was that. Anyway things were staring to look up and I really thought Willie could be the one and I was falling for him hard. It was a strong feeling that was altogether new to me. He worked with his dad learning the electrical trade and things went great for a while. Then Bonnie and Clyde needed a place to live with her son, his large dog and asked us if they could stay with us until they got on their feet. In a few months it seems Willie was unhappy working with his dad and wanted to move out of the city to the country. Later I would find out that his mom had a problem with me still being married on paper but didn't understand that I was the one that would have to pay for it and was working on it along with everything else.
It was also around this time that he said something I have never been able to get out of my mind but he was a bit drunk at the time. We had been talking one night and as he leaned in to kiss me he said "You aren't the most beautiful girl I've ever dated but there is something about you... I just don't know". Now just what the hell do you do with that? I know I'm average and cleaned up pretty good but was there a point in stating the obvious? The thing that saved him at this time was the next night or so I got a call at the bar at 1:30 am from my dad who was so upset I couldn't understand a word he was saying. So Willie and I left and drove the 30 minutes to get to the trailer to find a mess. He shot the TV that was in his back room because he saw my ex husbands face in the screen when he was drinking and just blew the TV away. While we were cleaning it up dad asked me not to tell mom and I said... sure... no problem. Like she wasn't going to be able to figure out what happened! Dad and Willie had a beer together and things calmed down.
See my dad was remembering when my ex husband decided he was going to keep Trey one Christmas after he turned 2 years old. My ex told me what he was going to do but I didn't believe him because he hadn't been around for a while and he sure hadn't paid any child support since I left... but as usual he shows up out of no where with a bunch of demands. I couldn't even swear he had a job at the time but even if he did just how did he think he was going to take care of Trey? And who would want to piss off my mom just for the fun of it? Looking back on it now I think that once I figured out my ex was serious about this I decided to sit it out and let the two of them go at it and deal with the clean up as I usually do. Not to mention Trey who was at the center of this never ending tug of war that was the ultimate victim in this whole story. Anyway, my uncle was going to Disneyland and wanted Trey to go and I knew that once that happened, Trey wasn't going back to my exes. No matter what my exes father said and he thought he was the expert in court battles with exes. We went to court eventually and my ex showed up with a notebook, his new girl friend at the time in her fishnet stockings wearing a hoochie outfit and afterward custody remained joint between us but mom had retained parental care. Another colossal waste of time and money. The worst part was Trey was afraid to go into a swimming pool or ocean after that. What is God's named happened to this child in the two weeks he was gone?
Willie later met Krystal, her boyfriend (Ryan Clampette) and was sure that living out near them was the place to be. Ryan assured Willie that there was plenty of work doing siding and despite all my best efforts I couldn't talk him out of it. Personally I wanted to go toward Gatlinberg TN because at least it was beautiful and if you have to live in the country, go all out! I also told him these were professional drinkers and there was no way he could keep up with them because they started early but he insisted that it would be perfect. Hummmph! I knew better but I thought he's gotta learn sometime, so we packed up our stuff and moved to the dry country in a trailer. Bonnie and Clyde went their separate ways but we will meet her again later. Did I mention that having grown up in trailer, I didn't want to live in another one my entire life but here we were. I had to quit The Rack and now was working at a near by convenience store in the country and Krystal later became my manager. I had also worked at two different local bars part time (both owned by the same owner) and one of those was a dive, but that didn't last long. Willie worked with Ryan and soon found himself in over his head and I remember one day they came to drop him off at the house. He was so drunk he only made it a few steps from the van before passing out right in the front yard. Yep he could handle it alright! Things got worse from there on out. We fought a lot and I found myself having to cover for Krystal some when she would go off on a bender. To me this was about as low as I wanted to go and knew things had to change. Alcohol was ruining my life and I still didn't drink that much... I mean once in a blue moon.
We were perpetually short on cash and it gets cold near the lake in the winter time. Sometimes we had to use the stove to heat the trailer and Willie in the fashion of Tim the tool man Taylor rewired it. One evening he came home just as I was getting off work and something had changed but I didn't know what it was. He wouldn't answer any questions and I was getting tired of trying to figure out how we were gonna pay the bills and we had a BIG fight that night. He left and I didn't see him again until he stopped by the store, clean shaven and in decent clothes the next day and then he kissed me good by, went to his ex girlfriends house then called me to say it was over. Well duh, I got that but he wanted me to drive all the way there with little gas in my car. What was the point? I thought about it and remembered I needed to get stuff out of his truck so I drove up there and got it. I was so mad at the position he had left me in I was steaming not to mention hurt... again. I asked her why she bothered trying to be my friend to my face because she could have saved us both a lot of time and grief. The worst part was running out of gas so I had to stay there with THEM that night. Well they called me down there so now they would have to deal with me and at least they had heat! So Another One Bites the Dust.
I guess it made him feel good to make me see them together... or he was a spoiled brat or was just to scared to face me on his own... who knows? Later I went home to a cold house because the stove Willie rewired blew up so there went the heat. It was a cold couple of days packing up but I was thankful a kid that had started working at the store came and helped me do as much as possible. My dear friend Sherri was willing to let me move back to Charlotte with her again but I still needed to find another job. Well Willie's new/old girlfriend offered me a job at the pizza place she worked at when she came with Willie to pick up some of his stuff. I didn't want to do that at all but really needed some cash and pizza delivery was they easiest way to do it until I could find another permanent job. She told me that I wouldn't see her or Willie very much and again that was a lie. Saw them everyday and it was the hardest thing to deal with because it hurt to see them together. What am I still doing here?
Soon after I got a job at a law firm as a courier but still needed to stay at the pizza place for gas money until I got my first check. Three days before that I was working the closing shift with the new/old girlfriend and she sent me to a location known for serious drug activity and being a girl in a pizza uniform was like having a bulls eye on your back. When I got there approximately 10 or 12 guys smoking crack pipes were sitting in the breezeway of the apartment I needed to deliver to and you couldn't see them until you were in there. I knocked on the right door just as a few of them were getting up and the nice man who ordered the pizza was kind enough to walk me back out to my car. I walked back into the shop took off my uniform and threw it at her after I told her what a low class sorry person she was and left. A little later Scott helped me when I needed some shocks for the car and we were starting to hang out more at that time. I was telling him the story about all the people at the farm and of course he didn't believe me... until he met some of them later on. ;) Blew his mind too, to say the least but here is the important part that karma taught me.
One night roughly a week after I had quit the pizza job Scott and I went to The Rack. As soon as we walked in Spunky the bartender asked if we had seen the news and we both said no so she turned it on just in time to see Willie's red truck with crime scene tape and reports that he had been shot while making a pizza delivery. For some reason his girlfriend had transferred him to another store in a bad neighborhood. Later that night the new girlfriend came to The Rack and asked me if I'd go see him in the hospital because they didn't know if he was going to make it. I did not want to go but felt like it was the right thing to do but as usual the new girlfriend wasted my time with some BS story when it was time. Later I found out she was almost 2 months pregnant and that was the missing piece to the puzzle because Willie and I were still together at that time. Willie suffered 4 shots, one to the back of the head, abdomen, arm and leg? Scott witnessed the whole event that transpired that night and was floored that someone would be that cruel and mean. To me it was just another day and it just wasn't worth it to keep fighting ignorant people so I didn't even bother. Scott and I saw them together at the Steve Miller concert a year later and Willie was not right at all but they had gotten married. I thought better her than me at that point. Even thought I didn't explain all the details of that last fight, I still believe that the karma was a little strong for the crimes but who's to say I know everything? Makes you wonder...
Our trip to Tennessee so we took a ride to check out the beautiful scenery.
Before the move.
Release the Indifference to feel Alive from Pearl Jam.
11. It's a small world after all >>>>>
4. Lying, Cheating, Stealing and Intent, 5. Power of You, 6. One Split Second,
7. Marvelous Mistakes, 8. I made a choice to make a change, 9. Connections to the Farm,
10. Back to the Farm, 11. It's a small world after all, 12 Fair Weather Friends,
13. Ghost of Roommates Past, 14. You can never go to far, 15. Glamorous Life,
16. Double Standards, 17. Lazy? No Exhausted, 18. Crossroads of Life and Death, 19. One Last Time, 20. When Worlds Collide I, 21. When Worlds Collide II, 22. When Worlds Collide III 23. The Unwanted New World, 24. Means the Old World Must Go, 25. So Where was God in all this? 26. Where did you get that from?, 27. The Reason for My Season, 28. Was Always a Little Rascal, 29. Pictures and Quotes of the Little Rascal and final chapter 30. Closing in Contradictions. ~Use these links to read in order (some chapters have songs, new added content, pictures or all:) Volume 2 >>>>>
After working at the bar and the paper for a couple of months the schedule got tight because the hours kept changing for both jobs. I had gotten the chance to get the job at the paper because one of the managers came through the drive thru window at McDonald's where I had worked on a regular basis and told me to come in for an interview. She was a kind lady but I only got to work for her for a few months before they moved me to another managers team because she transferred to another department. The new manager at work was not a pleasant person and after several months of her odd rants or complete meltdowns in the sales office floor, I was quickly tiring of the constant drama, low pay and the unwillingness to work with me on hours to get to the 2nd job on time. I had determined that I made more money in two nights of waiting tables than a week at the paper. I'll admit that I was sleep deprived and on my break one afternoon I closed my eyes while in the break room. The new manager came in and had a few words to say about it, to which I rolled my eyes. I was fired but I was glad to get out of there. Jeez enough was enough. I heard later that she was (in)voluntarily committed for a bit and thought why can't they catch these folks before I lose my job. It did let me work full time at the bar and pool room which was more my schedule because I like being up at night. Let's face it... it was much more fun too.
I liked most of the customers in the bar, they were fun people and I had been going there off and on for over three years even though I wasn't old enough to drink at first. I started to work there shorty after my 21st birthday. Shooting pool was fun but I was far from good so I would practice some if we were not busy. We had regular bar flies that came in at 5 pm and stayed til closing and then we had the weekenders. We even had our own off duty police officers that would help break up fights where pool sticks are involved and I was thankful for that. No need going to the hospital if you don't have too! For a while it really was a happening place and then there was a guy (isn't there always?) who came in pretty regularly by himself, just after work and played on the tables alone. I noticed a bit slowly mind you that he wouldn't order anything from the other waitress on duty, but only from me. He too was from Kansas and was a nice looking dude with pretty blue eyes, long and lanky... again not my type but that was the point! He too was a quiet guy but he did start talking to me a little and I thought he was sweet but didn't think he really was interested in me.
In Comfortably Single I wrote that you have to be pretty direct with me because I don't assume anything and being direct is the way to get my attention. In real life his mama named him after her favorite folk song artist of the region and he kind of looked like him when the artist was younger but again we'll call him Willie. On the weekends he started hanging at the bar until closing and several of us customer and employees would stay behind after closing and talk in the parking lot. After a few weeks it became clear that he did indeed like me and one night we got caught walking in the rain which was pretty fun too. I must say I was flattered and thrilled because he really seemed like he could carry on a conversation, had a clue, a job and his own place to live. What more could I ask for right? I should also mention that I met Scott my long time friend and roommate today around this time. He was one of the regulars and knew both me and Willy and Willy's nutty but sweet friend Michael who was always Walking in Memphis on his way to Graceland. We even shot pool on the same league team for a session. And to round things out then I met a girl who was petite and looked very young for her age. I carded her in the bar and saw she was 5 years older than me and was floored. We started talking and hit it off too. She and her boyfriend were regulars a bit and we'll call them, Bonnie and Clyde, but Bonnie deserves her own chapter and so shall it be.
I could have used a little more time but I was out of that and needed a place to live when mom threw me out again so Willie let me move in with him. It was great because it was so close to the bar that I could walk when my RX-7 wouldn't start and that happened regularly until it quit completely and I got the Grand Am. He introduced me to his ex girlfriend because they remained friends and she started dating someone I knew back when I was married. Weird but true. Another weird fact is Willie had dated a black girl from the school I went to in Union County. She was a beautiful girl so I could see why but it was this girls cousin who was a friend of mine in school. This poor guy had come to my house once and my father opened the door and scared the snot out of him because he was black... and that was that. Anyway things were staring to look up and I really thought Willie could be the one and I was falling for him hard. It was a strong feeling that was altogether new to me. He worked with his dad learning the electrical trade and things went great for a while. Then Bonnie and Clyde needed a place to live with her son, his large dog and asked us if they could stay with us until they got on their feet. In a few months it seems Willie was unhappy working with his dad and wanted to move out of the city to the country. Later I would find out that his mom had a problem with me still being married on paper but didn't understand that I was the one that would have to pay for it and was working on it along with everything else.
It was also around this time that he said something I have never been able to get out of my mind but he was a bit drunk at the time. We had been talking one night and as he leaned in to kiss me he said "You aren't the most beautiful girl I've ever dated but there is something about you... I just don't know". Now just what the hell do you do with that? I know I'm average and cleaned up pretty good but was there a point in stating the obvious? The thing that saved him at this time was the next night or so I got a call at the bar at 1:30 am from my dad who was so upset I couldn't understand a word he was saying. So Willie and I left and drove the 30 minutes to get to the trailer to find a mess. He shot the TV that was in his back room because he saw my ex husbands face in the screen when he was drinking and just blew the TV away. While we were cleaning it up dad asked me not to tell mom and I said... sure... no problem. Like she wasn't going to be able to figure out what happened! Dad and Willie had a beer together and things calmed down.
See my dad was remembering when my ex husband decided he was going to keep Trey one Christmas after he turned 2 years old. My ex told me what he was going to do but I didn't believe him because he hadn't been around for a while and he sure hadn't paid any child support since I left... but as usual he shows up out of no where with a bunch of demands. I couldn't even swear he had a job at the time but even if he did just how did he think he was going to take care of Trey? And who would want to piss off my mom just for the fun of it? Looking back on it now I think that once I figured out my ex was serious about this I decided to sit it out and let the two of them go at it and deal with the clean up as I usually do. Not to mention Trey who was at the center of this never ending tug of war that was the ultimate victim in this whole story. Anyway, my uncle was going to Disneyland and wanted Trey to go and I knew that once that happened, Trey wasn't going back to my exes. No matter what my exes father said and he thought he was the expert in court battles with exes. We went to court eventually and my ex showed up with a notebook, his new girl friend at the time in her fishnet stockings wearing a hoochie outfit and afterward custody remained joint between us but mom had retained parental care. Another colossal waste of time and money. The worst part was Trey was afraid to go into a swimming pool or ocean after that. What is God's named happened to this child in the two weeks he was gone?
Willie later met Krystal, her boyfriend (Ryan Clampette) and was sure that living out near them was the place to be. Ryan assured Willie that there was plenty of work doing siding and despite all my best efforts I couldn't talk him out of it. Personally I wanted to go toward Gatlinberg TN because at least it was beautiful and if you have to live in the country, go all out! I also told him these were professional drinkers and there was no way he could keep up with them because they started early but he insisted that it would be perfect. Hummmph! I knew better but I thought he's gotta learn sometime, so we packed up our stuff and moved to the dry country in a trailer. Bonnie and Clyde went their separate ways but we will meet her again later. Did I mention that having grown up in trailer, I didn't want to live in another one my entire life but here we were. I had to quit The Rack and now was working at a near by convenience store in the country and Krystal later became my manager. I had also worked at two different local bars part time (both owned by the same owner) and one of those was a dive, but that didn't last long. Willie worked with Ryan and soon found himself in over his head and I remember one day they came to drop him off at the house. He was so drunk he only made it a few steps from the van before passing out right in the front yard. Yep he could handle it alright! Things got worse from there on out. We fought a lot and I found myself having to cover for Krystal some when she would go off on a bender. To me this was about as low as I wanted to go and knew things had to change. Alcohol was ruining my life and I still didn't drink that much... I mean once in a blue moon.
We were perpetually short on cash and it gets cold near the lake in the winter time. Sometimes we had to use the stove to heat the trailer and Willie in the fashion of Tim the tool man Taylor rewired it. One evening he came home just as I was getting off work and something had changed but I didn't know what it was. He wouldn't answer any questions and I was getting tired of trying to figure out how we were gonna pay the bills and we had a BIG fight that night. He left and I didn't see him again until he stopped by the store, clean shaven and in decent clothes the next day and then he kissed me good by, went to his ex girlfriends house then called me to say it was over. Well duh, I got that but he wanted me to drive all the way there with little gas in my car. What was the point? I thought about it and remembered I needed to get stuff out of his truck so I drove up there and got it. I was so mad at the position he had left me in I was steaming not to mention hurt... again. I asked her why she bothered trying to be my friend to my face because she could have saved us both a lot of time and grief. The worst part was running out of gas so I had to stay there with THEM that night. Well they called me down there so now they would have to deal with me and at least they had heat! So Another One Bites the Dust.
I guess it made him feel good to make me see them together... or he was a spoiled brat or was just to scared to face me on his own... who knows? Later I went home to a cold house because the stove Willie rewired blew up so there went the heat. It was a cold couple of days packing up but I was thankful a kid that had started working at the store came and helped me do as much as possible. My dear friend Sherri was willing to let me move back to Charlotte with her again but I still needed to find another job. Well Willie's new/old girlfriend offered me a job at the pizza place she worked at when she came with Willie to pick up some of his stuff. I didn't want to do that at all but really needed some cash and pizza delivery was they easiest way to do it until I could find another permanent job. She told me that I wouldn't see her or Willie very much and again that was a lie. Saw them everyday and it was the hardest thing to deal with because it hurt to see them together. What am I still doing here?
Soon after I got a job at a law firm as a courier but still needed to stay at the pizza place for gas money until I got my first check. Three days before that I was working the closing shift with the new/old girlfriend and she sent me to a location known for serious drug activity and being a girl in a pizza uniform was like having a bulls eye on your back. When I got there approximately 10 or 12 guys smoking crack pipes were sitting in the breezeway of the apartment I needed to deliver to and you couldn't see them until you were in there. I knocked on the right door just as a few of them were getting up and the nice man who ordered the pizza was kind enough to walk me back out to my car. I walked back into the shop took off my uniform and threw it at her after I told her what a low class sorry person she was and left. A little later Scott helped me when I needed some shocks for the car and we were starting to hang out more at that time. I was telling him the story about all the people at the farm and of course he didn't believe me... until he met some of them later on. ;) Blew his mind too, to say the least but here is the important part that karma taught me.
One night roughly a week after I had quit the pizza job Scott and I went to The Rack. As soon as we walked in Spunky the bartender asked if we had seen the news and we both said no so she turned it on just in time to see Willie's red truck with crime scene tape and reports that he had been shot while making a pizza delivery. For some reason his girlfriend had transferred him to another store in a bad neighborhood. Later that night the new girlfriend came to The Rack and asked me if I'd go see him in the hospital because they didn't know if he was going to make it. I did not want to go but felt like it was the right thing to do but as usual the new girlfriend wasted my time with some BS story when it was time. Later I found out she was almost 2 months pregnant and that was the missing piece to the puzzle because Willie and I were still together at that time. Willie suffered 4 shots, one to the back of the head, abdomen, arm and leg? Scott witnessed the whole event that transpired that night and was floored that someone would be that cruel and mean. To me it was just another day and it just wasn't worth it to keep fighting ignorant people so I didn't even bother. Scott and I saw them together at the Steve Miller concert a year later and Willie was not right at all but they had gotten married. I thought better her than me at that point. Even thought I didn't explain all the details of that last fight, I still believe that the karma was a little strong for the crimes but who's to say I know everything? Makes you wonder...
Our trip to Tennessee so we took a ride to check out the beautiful scenery.
Release the Indifference to feel Alive from Pearl Jam.
11. It's a small world after all >>>>>
Isn't it amazing when we look back and realized we survived all that and still came out ok?? hugs
ReplyDeleteYou are amazingly correct on that!
ReplyDelete